Shopped In The Nude Today, Oh Boy! by Hyperabid


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The Challenge: To write a song about -- Free Outfits For Nude Shoppers -- An Austrian clothing chain is offering shoppers $385 worth of free clothes if the customer enters the store completely naked. Streakers must make it as far as the checkout counter of any Kleider Bauer outlet, where they'll be greeted with a towel to cover up as well as a voucher to buy clothes for the trip home, the department store said in a statement last week. However, fearing an onslaught of shoppers from a nation not averse to baring all in public, only the first five strippers of the day at each of the 40 department stores will be rewarded. Naturally the store stands to win no matter what. One commentator noted that obviously more than 5 will show up to win, and those nudes will want to buy some clothes so they can leave with what little dignity they may have intact. No doubt, plenty of gawkers will show up to oggle the streakers, and they'll probably feel compelled to buy some clothes as well. And then of course, there's the owner who thought it all up who'll not only enjoy extra sales, but will get a free show as well.

Shopped In The Nude Today, Oh Boy! by Hyperabid
(Tune: I Read The News Today – (Oh boy), Beatles)

Hyp's Comments: Well yet another chance for me to retreat back into schoolboy humour. Thank you everybody at SONG CHALLENGE! Amos had started the Beatles theme, so why should I buck an excellent trend...

Shopped in the nude today, Oh boy!
Twas ten below in Kitzbuhel, Austria
And when I made it to the till
Something was very small
Even though my ego said that it could fill the Albert Hall

Skied in the buff today, my friend!
Twas for a bet in hardest currency
But as I sped towards the end
I felt a gorse bush catch
The pain between my legs located somewhere just below my thatch

Some ladies they tried the same thing
Without the blessing of a sports brassiere
And though the sight was very fine
It was uncomfortable
Some of them will still be bruised they've released this mortal coil