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Punter Shop Pilferer Put In Pokey By Poo On Shoe -- SYDNEY (Reuters) - A glob of dog excrement on a Queensland robber's shoe has been used as evidence to identify him, landing him with a 10-year stretch for a betting shop hold-up on Australia's Gold Coast.  Police said Thursday they had used enhanced photos from a security camera to match the pattern of excrement found at the crime scene to that on 26-year-old Jacob Smith's shoe.  "It's not rocket science. It's as plain as poo on your shoe," police sergeant Alan Piper, a veteran scientific officer, was quoted by local media as saying.  "It could have been one of a thousand or ten thousand shoes, but because that poo was there it was creating a great big feature that allowed us to go to a positive identification."  "I'd say there has been some more poo on the shoe but it has worn away," said Piper, who admitted to also doing a smell test.  Smith, who had wrapped a sheet around his face to hide his identity during the heist, was jailed in June for 10 years and 10 months on charges of robbery, being armed and in company and unlawful use of a motor vehicle.


The Shite That Got Larry A Stretch by derrymacash

The shite that got Larry a stretch fell out of the back of a doggy
At the scene of the crime it lay fresh, all steamin' and fumin' and soggy
And treading with stealth and with care, yet poor Larry should've avoided
The wee pile of crap that lay there, which lately some mongrel had voided
His owner ignorin' the act

The filth on the sole of his boot proved Larry's doubt beyond question
No alibi could Larry moot, no reason, excuse or suggestion
The judge he peered down his nose, and said "We have caught you red-handed
And brown-footed too I suppose". With a crash his oul' gavel then landed
As Larry, he wept in the dock.

If the owner had scooped up the poop, then Larry would still be a-crimin'
But now the unfortunate dupe from the cell that he's doin' some time in
Is frettin' and makin' up plans to seek his revenge on the barker
He sweats as he wrings his oul' hands and daily his visage grows darker
He's mutterin' into his beard

The night that poor Larry got free, the dogs in the town were in terror
Till at last at a quarter to three, he met up with the source of the error
And oh, the howls and the yelps, and oh the poor doggy's pleading
As he gave the dog's arse such a skelp that the mongrel's oul nose started bleedin'
Says Larry "Rough justice is done".

And now when he's out on his rounds, poor Larry's oul' nose it is twitchin'
He keeps his oul' eyes to the ground, in case some dog's shite is a glitch in
His divilment, malice as well, his burglary, robbin' and thevin'
He'll avoid a sojourn in the cell by skirting all wayward dog's leavings
And the foul-smellin' offerin's of cats

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