She's A Smooth Operator by Lonesome EJ


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The Song Challenge: But I Want To Get To Know You . . . (Hove, East Sussex, England) A lapdancing club has applied to the local council for a variance to its licence to allow blind patrons to touch performers. The Pussycats Club in Hove complained that the strict no touching clause in its current licence discriminates against the blind. Kenneth McGrath, director of the club, took up the issue with Brighton and Hove council after two blind men visited Pussycats with a stag party of sighted friends. They wanted to touch the girls, explaining that, if they could, it would give them a better idea of what the exotic dancers looked like. The club's licence forbids any physical contact between dancers and guests except when customers feel the need to place banknotes in the dancer's garters. Mr. McGrath said: "Both men said they very much enjoyed the dances and sensed highly the proximity of the dancers and, in particular, enjoyed the smell of their perfume. Given their disability, they felt controlled touching ought to be permitted for registered blind persons only and with the dancer's consent (and) that touching should be voluntary and restricted to the breasts and only when the dancer is wearing a bra and not topless. The dancer would retain full control, taking one hand of the blind customer and placing it on her breasts while dancing for an agreed time." A council spokesman said: "We would consider any application for a variance of the lapdancing licence once we receive it."

She's A Smooth Operator by Lonesome EJ

When I walked in the room
I could smell her perfume
And the odor it cut like a knife
And though I couldn't be sure
When I put my hands to her
She felt like my best friend's ex-wife

Chorus:
She felt like my best friend's ex-wife
It gave me the shock of my life
I said to her "Joan
Why'd you leave Jim alone
And fill his existence with strife?"

I said "this can't be real
Who'd guess that I'd feel
An old friend like you in this place?"
When she made not a sound
I felt really down
And she slapped me right in the face

(Chorus)

It's been years since I touched her, but
I can't forget her, but
I never said one word to Jim
She's a smooth operator
But I just can't blame'er
I can't see what she saw in him

(Chorus)