SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

E-E-E-E-EEK! The Elves Are Armed And Claus Is Wearing Kevlar! -- Santas will be feeling oh-so-secure from rowdy children at shopping malls this year, now that the Freeport Leisure company is employing personal bodyguards for their costumed St. Nicks at their six factory outlet sites.  The company is also telling their red-clad employees to wear extra padding.  A company spokesman told the Evening Gazette: "Last year Santa received a number of tugs and pulls from over-exuberant children, which led to him getting a bit roughed up."  "And there was an incident at one of the centres last year where there was a bit more to it than that.  So this year we have decided to give Santa a bit of extra protection."  Tindi Sorber, group marketing manager for Freeport Leisure, said children would still be encouraged to tug Santa's beard as part of the Christmas tradition.  "We don't mind a tug - in fact we encourage it.  It's all part of the Christmas tradition.  However, last year Santa reported the odd bruise, so we've heeded his call and left nothing to chance," he said.


Santa Claus has Hired The Mob by Jack the Sailor

Jack's Comments:  Imagine this one sung to a small child by Christopher Walken, in his most threatening voice.

He's Making a list and checking it twice
But that ain't all so ya better be nice!
Santa Claus has Hired The Mob

A scarier man you never have met
Don't do a thing you're gonna regret
Santa Claus has Hired The Mob

Who cares if you've been sleeping
Who cares if you're awake
Don't you pull upon his beard
Or your arm we're gonna break

You better be good you better make nice
You'd be well advised to take my advice
Santa Claus has Hired The Mob

Santa Claus has Hired
Santa Claus has Hired
Santa Claus has Hired The Mob

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