SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

'I See Your Future Growing Bigger And Bigger' (Hamburg, Germany) A German clairvoyant is reading his clients' futures by feeling their naked bottoms.  Ulf Buck says buttocks have similar lines to those on the hand, which can be read.  The 39-year-old, who's been blind since he was three, says the bottom is more 'intense' than the hand.  He says a reading can give information about his clients' personalities as well as their future wealth, happiness and health.  Mr Buck from Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says he's attracting all kinds of clients including a soap star and a stockbroker.  He also says being blind helps to relax his customers as they know they'll remain anonymous and that he doesn't get a thrill from the buttock reading, adding he's happily married.


Scanned By Your Hands by Sonja
(Parody of Stand By Your Man by Tammy Wynette and Billy Sherrill)

Sometimes its hard to be uncertain,
Givin' in to what the fates have planned.
Will I have bad times?
Will I have good times
Doing things that Boston law has banned?

"Butts tell the future," Dr. Buck says,
"Even though folks may not understand."
If I trust Ulf, he
Will engulf me,
Paws aft, or all around my can.

CHORUS:
Scanned By Your Hands,
I give you two buns to cling to.
If skin too warm you come to,
Will my nights be cold and lonely?
Scanned By Your Hands,
Stretchmarks unfurled before you.
Keep probing where that glove may land;
I'm Scanned By Your Hands

Some seers read the cards or tea leaves;
You read the lines where I'm not tanned.
So, do your duty--
Tickle my booty,
Liberace to my 'baby grand.'

Butt reading probes tomorrow's borders,
Giving glimpses of the promised land.
And if you thrill me,
You can double bill me,
Cause I'm just putty in your hands.

CHORUS

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