SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Maybe it was the tin-foil panties, maybe it's the summer heat, maybe it's our brand new grill; but, I find myself 'lusting in my heart' for some barbequed spare ribs, don't you?  That must be why I've picked this Challenge! idea from Roger the skiffler this time . . .   I can't help myself, I'd just love to see -- Babe On The Block -- From Roger the skiffler (22-Jun-01) I offer this as a possible future challenge, scope for sentimental song:   (BTW the pig was saved by the judge).  The owner of a retired celebrity pig is fighting a legal battle to save him from the foot-and-mouth slaughter. Grunty, a rare Maori kune kune pig, starred in a children's television film and has his own website.  But his fame did not stop an inspector from the Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) from ordering him to be culled under the foot-and-mouth regulations.  Grunty's farm in Somerset was condemned because his owner had visited another of her holdings, which turned out to be infected.  Rosemary Upton, of Hill Farm, Stawley, near Wellington, Somerset, is applying for permission to seek a judicial review.   Appearing for her, Stephen Smith QC, suggested that Grunty had a much stronger case for survival than Phoenix the calf, saved after a blaze of publicity in April.  Grunty starred in Pig at the Ritz on Channel Five and in pleasanter times has accompanied Mrs. Upton on trips to the local village.

Mmmmmmmm -- this Challenge! sounds finger-licking good!!  (now where did I put that Worchester Sauce???).


Saving Grunty by LoopySanchez

Loopy's Comments: Ok gang, here's my blatant attempt at a trophy. 10 threads (referenced in parentheses), one song. It's pretty corny, but I hope it's enjoyable to all.


If DEFRA's afraid that Grunty's infected (62)
Send him on over, we Yanks will protect him.
To every disease we're all quite immune
We even brew coffee from Civet poo. (57)

We Yanks aren't afraid of some foot-and-mouth
We'll even wear aluminum foil to sneak him out. (61)
I think we'd need more foil though, to steal a pig
And it would be tough to hide something that big.

CHORUS:
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

Maybe that guy who keeps all those ferrets (10)
Could hide Grunty in his pants, then grin and bear it
But he'd need to remove all the ferrets first
An animal fight in your drawers sure does hurt!

Or perhaps Africa would make
For a better hiding place
They spit doo-doo from the kudu (30)
By foot-and-mouth they're not fazed.

Does it look like I'm lying?
Is my nose getting long?
That's just the nasal Viagra (60)
Guess that dose was too strong.

CHORUS:
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

We could always stop by the leech ranch (58)
And round us up a few
Take them all to Somerset
Let them suck on Grunty til' they're through

And maybe if we're lucky
The disease will be removed
If it's not, we've wasted sixteen bucks
On a pound of leeches, guess we're screwed.

Too bad we can't fly Grunty first class (44)
For a second opinion some other place
But another pig ended our chances of that
And US Air's still cleaning his waste.

It just doesn't seem fair to me though
How one pig ruined things in the blink of an eye
But now thanks to Vaclav, the Czechs' national hero (29)
Raccoons get free beer and a meal when they fly!

CHORUS:
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

The sanglochon seems much worse (42)
Than dear ol' Grunty and his foot-and-mouth curse
He's never dug up anyone's lawn
Or drunk from their pool, from dusk until dawn

Maybe they're what should first be destroyed
And maybe it's just that DEFRA's mistaken
Could it be Grunty's clean? I'd be overjoyed!
If he is, then I'm sure he'd make some great bacon!

CHORUS:
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

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