Sari Weaver by Jack the Sailor


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The Song Challenge: The Day That Saji's Sari Slipped and Baji's Bobbin Got Buffed . . . India's health minister has banned the use of condoms to lubricate bobbins used in weaving saris. CP Thakur has told parliament sari makers are using condoms to speed up weaving because condom lubricant was also good at stopping yarn from snapping. Mr. Thakur claims the use of so many condoms in the sari industry is affecting India's population control programme. "Instructions have been issued to stop this practice," Mr Thakur said. Mr Thakur says the use of condoms in weaving is causing shortages and instances of unscrupulous government health workers meant to distribute free condoms to contain population instead selling the condoms to sari makers. Workers rub the condoms on bobbins while they make their brocade saris. The industry is using an estimated half a million condoms every day. Each of the 125,000 looms in the city of Varanasi uses an average four condoms per day. It takes nearly 15 condoms to produce one Benarasi sari. The lubricant on the condom smoothens the bobbin and makes it move faster between threads..

Sari Weaver by Jack the Sailor
(Tune: Nancy Whiskey)

I am a weaver a sari weaver
I am a modern Indian
I'm going to make the finest saris
But cut expenses where e'er I can

Weaver, Weaver sari weaver,
Weaver Weaver, Sari Oh!
Weaver, Weaver sari weaver,
Weaver Weaver, Sari Oh!

As I tried to weave a sari
Something caused my yarn to snap
I rubbed a condom on my bobbin
To lubricate me from that crap

Weaver, Weaver sari weaver,
Weaver Weaver, Sari Oh!
Weaver, Weaver sari weaver,
Weaver Weaver, Sari Oh!

I get my condoms from a health care worker
I get my condoms really cheap
But when we all run out of condoms
Moms and Dads begin to weep

Weaver, Weaver sari weaver,
Weaver Weaver, Sari Oh!
Weaver, Weaver sari weaver,
Weaver Weaver, Sari Oh!

I weave the best as a condom greaser
I surely make those shuttles fly
Use four gloves to make a sari
And Moms and Das begin to cry

Weaver, Weaver Sari Weaver,
Weaver Weaver, Sari Oh!
Pay our bills you sorry Weaver,
Weaver Weaver, Sari Oh!