Sari with the French Tickler Top by Trapper


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The Song Challenge: The Day That Saji's Sari Slipped and Baji's Bobbin Got Buffed . . . India's health minister has banned the use of condoms to lubricate bobbins used in weaving saris. CP Thakur has told parliament sari makers are using condoms to speed up weaving because condom lubricant was also good at stopping yarn from snapping. Mr. Thakur claims the use of so many condoms in the sari industry is affecting India's population control programme. "Instructions have been issued to stop this practice," Mr Thakur said. Mr Thakur says the use of condoms in weaving is causing shortages and instances of unscrupulous government health workers meant to distribute free condoms to contain population instead selling the condoms to sari makers. Workers rub the condoms on bobbins while they make their brocade saris. The industry is using an estimated half a million condoms every day. Each of the 125,000 looms in the city of Varanasi uses an average four condoms per day. It takes nearly 15 condoms to produce one Benarasi sari. The lubricant on the condom smoothens the bobbin and makes it move faster between threads..

Sari with the French Tickler Top by Trapper
(Tune: "Surrey with the Fringe on the Top" -- New Words by Al Boyce 10/31/2001)

INTRO:
Working at the Sari loom with me
Lubricate the bobbins constantly
To keep threads intact use lubricated condoms
If they break, a funny sight you'll see....

Holy men and cows better scurry
Bombay fashion merchants should worry
When you take a walk in a sari
With a French-Tickler top

Trojan-Enz, just see how they flutter
Ramses sheaths that glide slick as butter
Shieks that stretch so large that you shudder
That they're sure to pop

We stroke the condom on the bobbin thread
They keep Sari yarn from snapping
If they're pulled off from our fingers and wind up in the loom
From your sari they'll soon be a-flapping!

With sari thread that's been thusly treated
If you eat too much, you won't feel cheated
It'll swell four sizes and not be defeated if you just can't stop
With that slimy little sari with the french tickler top