Sad Ballad of the Norseman Who Wouldn't Drive by Amos


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The Challenge: To write a song about -- The Norwegian Moose And His Road Rage -- DATELINE: OSLO, Norway -- Raymond Johansen isn't sure what to say on his insurance claim after a moose walked across his car and kicked in its windshield this weekend. Johansen and his girlfriend, Kristen, were driving home when they stopped for a moose on the highway. They thought they'd avoided a potentially deadly collision with the moose, which weighted about 400 kilograms (880 pounds); but, no such luck. Johansen recalled shouting "this can't be" when the moose walked across the car's hood and one of its feet came crashing through the windshield. Neither the couple nor the moose was injured. He said the moose may have been enraged by the bright lights of the car.

Sad Ballad of the Norseman Who Wouldn't Drive by Amos

Well, Kristin and Raymond were lovers
Lord, how they put it forth,
They fell in love up in Norway
Way up in the frozen north

Well Kristen and Raymond got married
Out on the marryin' ground
In a little woodside chapel
Forty miles outside of Oslo town,

She told her man how she loved him,
In their little VW that night,
And he told her that he loved her too,
An' everything would be right

Well, the ground it started to tremble
The tarmac started to shake
A giant form stepped out of the gloom,
And Raymond slammed on his brakes

Well, Raymond he could not explain it,
He couldn't think of a trick,
Was a big bull moose, and he had no excuse,
He just froze right up at the stick.

Well the moose tramped right through the windsheild
Hotter than a thirty-eight
Well he stuck his nose into Kristin's clothes
And asked her for a date!

Now, Kristin she screamed and she fainted,
And wet her brand new underwear,
And the moose just shrugged and got offa that bug,
He could see there weren't no action there!

The marriage broke up 'cuz of trauma,
And Kristin turned nasty and terse,
And Raymond moans and cries all night
"Why didn't I hit reverse?!!"