SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

This Pony In Panties Ain't No Poser! (Ellensburg, WA) -- You can see some pretty strange things in Ellensburg.  Miniature horses are the first thing visitors notice as they pull up to the house of Cherry King and Jenny Calhoun, but the scene quickly gets even more bizarre.  Out across the yard comes "Fat Butt" the miniature goat, as chickens, macaws, dogs, and a host of other pets begin to stir.  The most unique of them all is Rosie, the two-foot tall miniature horse that has been trained to respond to 23 commands to help King, who is blind.  "At a crosswalk, if a car is coming, she'll block me.  There's nothing she can't do."  That's right, a guide horse for the blind--one of only two in the country, the other is in Pennsylvania.  Rosie goes everywhere--to the grocery store, the hospital, everywhere.  And they get strange looks at every turn.  Before going anywhere, Rosie is fitted with a harness, a blanket, and even specially designed horse panties---yes horse panties.  "She's potty-trained," says King "But as a precaution, she wears panties."  It's not just a diaper or shorts; the horse actually wears silky red panties with a thick lining and a hole for her tail.  Watching a 24-inch tall horse strut her stuff in red panties makes all of the other aspects of the story seem a little more run-of-the-mill.  After all, in a world where tiny horses wear panties...?  By the time Rosie climbs into the back of the Toyota Celica and heads into town, she's dolled up in full regalia, so it's no surprise when people slow down and heads turn when they see her climb out of the car in downtown Ellensburg.  The head spinning is no surprise to King.  The place where people are most shocked by Rosie is in restaurants, where the horse often sits under the table during meals, only to emerge when its time to go, startling patrons in nearby booths.  Like a guide dog, Rosie can legally go everywhere, so when Ellensburg residents see a tiny horse walking up and down the aisles of the local supermarket, check for panties.  It's probably just Rosie.


Rosie, Don't Shake Your Undies Down by SharonA
(Tune: "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town" performed by Kenny Rogers; words and music by M. Tillis – for original lyrics, click here)

You've girded up your hips, through holes unfurled your long tail-hair.
Rosie, we're both combed and plaited, trotting out somewhere.
The hoof-beats as they fall tell me we're gonna go to town.
Oh Rosieeeeee, don't shake your undies down.

It wasn't me that farted in that Crazy Eddie store.
I wasn't proud to scoop the "doo" I can't see on the floor.
And yes, it's true you're not bare-assed the way you used to be
Oh Rosieeeeee, you still need some place to pee.

It's hard to lead a girl whose eyes are blind and neutralized
And the bladder-size of a pony – small-gauge – Rosie, I realize.
But it won't be far, you've heard me say, until the park we've found.
Oh Rosieeeeee, don't shake your undies down.

She's heavin' now, 'cause I just heard the slippin' of the drawers
The way I know I've heard them slip one hundred times before,
And if I could see, I'd mount that horse and ride her to the pound.
Oh Rosieeeeee, don't shake your undies down.

Oh Rosieeeeee, for God's sake, I stepped in it again...

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