Rath Thnakes are Nathty Whem Theyth Bithe Youth onth de Tonguth by Jack the Sailor


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Thay That Again, You Thwollen Thongue Thevil -- A jury in Tavares, Florida, convicted Leal Fleming, 45, of drunk driving in November, despite his insistence that the reason he slurred his words to a police officer, and couldn't breathe into a breathalyzer, was that he had just been bitten on the tongue by a rat snake and was on his way to a hospital to get treatment for the swelling. Said Fleming after the trial, "After the verdict came in, I had some second thoughts (about not taking an offered plea bargain), but I still think there was a point to our defense."

Rath Thnakes are Nathty Whem Theyth Bithe Youth onth de Tonguth by Jack the Sailor
(Tune: Old Dogs and Children and Watermelon Wine)

Jack's Comments: Here is a tribute to one of my favourite storytelling songwriters.

"Howth Drunth doith youith Thinith I hamb?
I said I don't really know
"I wasth bithen by a thnake aboudt two hourth aglo"
I was a jail in Tavares, charged with raising hell
When this dude by nam a' Flemming was tossed into my cell

"Effer bin bith by a Rat thnake?" he asked
I sad no but a bumble bee once stung me on the ass
Uninvited he say down and opened up his jaw
His tongue was so swolen it filled up his whole maw

He said "I wasth on my wayth to the hosthpithal
When the sherrif stopped my car
He said "Son you're weaving. Did you just come from a bar?"
I said I wasn't drinking "I didn'th haveth a one"
But "Rath thnakes are Nathty Whem Theyth Bithe Youth onth de Tonguth."

"The sherrif thaid I was thluring, I thaid I couldn't helpth mythelf."
He Thaid, All thith drinkthing isthint healfy fo yo helf"
He thaid "I'm gonna jail youth cause I don'th belief youy thon,"
About "Rath thnakes are Nathty Whem Theyth Bithe Youth onth de Tonguth."

As he spoke my cellmate's speech really became more clear
and his story's telling was easier to hear
He was under pressure and it wasn't any fun
cause "Rat snakes are nasty when they bite you on the tongue."

The cops they gave him coffee in a paper cup
So when he spoke so normal, they'd thought he'd sobered up
He should have taken pictures of the wound between his gums
cause "Rat snakes are nasty when they bite you on the tongue."

The prosecutor at his trial, one question he did pose.
"How did you and rat snake, get facing nose to nose?"
The implication of this question from which he could not run
"Rat snakes are nasty when they bite you on the tongue."