SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  An Official Double Dip Dare . . . -- Dare One:  When This Pig Gets Pumped . . . -- A pot-bellied pig sank his teeth into the leg of a burglar who was trying to rob his owner.   Arnold, who weighs 21 stone, also stopped a burglar from getting into a neighbour's house by biting him.   The animal has become a celebrity among police officers in his home town of Minneapolis.   Arnold first showed his crime fighting abilities when his owner Becky Moyer spotted burglars in her garage.  She told the Star Tribune: "There were two guys in there.   One of them put something in my back that felt like a gun, and they said they wanted my purse.  I said my purse was in the house.  When we went in, I screamed for Arnold, and he got up and grabbed the guy by the leg.  He yelled, 'There's a pig in here!' and ran.  There was blood all over."  She added: "The police gave him that 'crime-fighter' name.  When they're in the neighbourhood, they like to stop by and pet him."  Arnold was a present from her boyfriend.   "Some people get lingerie," she said. "I got a pig."  Dare Two:  . . . The Police Get Pissed . . . -- A Florida policeman who caught a trouble-making pig after a 300-yard chase had to call for back-up to help him keep it under 'arrest'.  Ocala officer Carl Dunlap managed to hold on to the 14-stone pig's ears and hind legs but said he was afraid the pig would wriggle free.   Three fellow officers arrived on the scene and managed to herd it on to a trailer.   Residents had complained the pig had been destroying property.  "He spotted the hog, chased him for about 300 yards and finally was able to wrestle him to the ground,'' said Captain Robert Douglas, who heard his shouts for help over the radio.  Minutes later, Captain Douglas, Captain Mike Deen and Deputy John Shivley arrived on the scene to help Dunlap end the struggle.  "The first thing Dunlap said was that he sure was glad we showed up because he really didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to hold on," Captain Douglas said.  The four men loaded the pig on to a trailer and took it to Marion County Animal Control buildings, where officials placed the pig in a dog pen.


The Ranger Pig of Texas by Áine
(Tune: The Yellow Rose of Texas)

Áine's Comments:  Now, there might be some of my fellow Texicans that feel my lyrical offering is not very patriotic (to the nation of Texas, that is . . .); so, I have to prevaricate a wee bit, and tell y'all that I am the very proud descendant of several Texas Rangers; one of whom even took a herd of buffalo on a sailing ship to England with Wild Bill Hickock's Wild West Show to see the Queen (no brag, just fact).   So, I feel very comfortable with my little song about The Ranger Pig of Texas . . .

There's a pig I know in Texas
His name is Bubba G.
He lives the life of Riley
On a farm off I-30
He is chubby, white and shiny
And his tail curls like a 'B'
He's the Ranger Pig of Texas
And the only pork for me!

The white Stetson and his star he earned
When his Becky, she got robbed
Like a javelin'*, he dove right in
Grabbed the perp's leg with his gob
You can talk about your heroes tall
And sing them songs of yore
But the Ranger Pig of Texas
Is the pork that I adore!

Well, the days did dawn, the leaves did fall
Still they called for Bubba G.
There were rabbit runs, and bulls with guns
And chicken massacrees
With his snout held high, red in his eye
He answered every call
He's the Ranger Pig of Texas
The best pork of them all!

Bubba's fame was sealed one day in June
When his cousin, he went wild
From the wrong side of the blanket
'Jimmy D.' his handle styled
He took out the yams and taters
Then attacked the zucchini
But the Ranger Pig of Texas
Was his pork fait accompli!

With his deputies on either side
Bubba G., he led the charge
His pearly teeth sunk in a haunch
They took down that garbage barge
Jimmy D. in jail, without his tail
Bubba G., he waddled home
The Ranger Pig of Texas
May this porker never roam!

There's a pig I know in Texas
His name is Bubba G.
He lives the life of Riley
On a farm off I-30
He is chubby, white and shiny
And his tail curls like a 'B'
He's the Ranger Pig of Texas
And the only pork for me!

YEE-HAW!!

*Just A Wee Pedantic Note:  Upon repeated perusal of my song offering, I realize that I should make a note of pronunciation in re javelin' -- I shortened the word javelina, which is particularly mean and nasty species of wild pig in Texas, one which we Texicans are fond of hunting. And since it's a Spanish word, the 'j' is pronounced like an 'h'. So, it comes out (of my mouth, anyway) sounding like 'have-ah-leen-ah'.

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