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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
'I See Your Future Growing Bigger And Bigger' (Hamburg, Germany) A German clairvoyant is reading his clients' futures by feeling their naked bottoms. Ulf Buck says buttocks have similar lines to those on the hand, which can be read. The 39-year-old, who's been blind since he was three, says the bottom is more 'intense' than the hand. He says a reading can give information about his clients' personalities as well as their future wealth, happiness and health. Mr Buck from Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says he's attracting all kinds of clients including a soap star and a stockbroker. He also says being blind helps to relax his customers as they know they'll remain anonymous and that he doesn't get a thrill from the buttock reading, adding he's happily married.
Put Your Buns in the Hand by mousethief
(Chorus – repeat after each verse):
Put your buns in the hand of the man who reads the future
Put your buns in the hand of the man who knows your past
He can fondle your bum and tell you what's to come, and he can't even see
So put your buns in the hands of the man from Ger-ma-nee.
My mama told me how to tell the future reading palms and tea leaves
But this crazy German man has a more exotic plan, and he believes
He can tell me all about me just by feeling the lines a-written on my butt
And his wife chaperones and insists upon her 10% cut.
(repeat chorus)
Every time I wanna know what the future holds I go to Hamburg
There's a man with two hands who can wax more poetical than Sandburg
Cos my flabby derriere can tell this man who doesn't stare what the future holds for me
But he has eleven fingers and I'm not quite sure how that can be
(repeat chorus interminably, and fade)
Copyright ©2002 Alex E Riggle. All Rights Reserved.