SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Not one to let you Challenge!rs rest on your laurels (or cow chips, as the case may be), here's a great two-fer-one Challenge! from myself and the doesterr.  You have a choice here -- you can write a song about either of these topics, OR, you can write a song that includes both topics, thus qualifying for the Two-Fer-One Award! 

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(This one is from doesterr) 

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?  This could only happen in California....(true story) -- Car Jacking Foiled: An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found four unknown males in her car.  She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she "knows how to use it and that she will if required... so get out of the car! "   The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation, but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.   Small problem: her key wouldn't fit the ignition.  Her car was an identical model and was parked four or five spaces further down.  She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.  The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman...no charges were filed. 

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And here's mine: 

Car 54 - Where Are You?  Pensioners cause mayhem in police car - Police are investigating how two 76-year-old women got hold of a squad car and drove it with sirens blaring and lights flashing - before crashing it.  The little old ladies were "Citizens on Patrol" volunteers who drive around Beloit, Wisconsin, looking out for suspicious behaviour - but they are NOT supposed to drive squad cars.  They were asked to go to the scene of an accident to help control traffic but ended up in the police squad car instead of one of the unmarked police cars they normally use, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.  Shirley Nelson and neighbour Jeune Nelson kept the radio on during the incident and were heard asking each other for directions.  Their adventure ended when they went through a red light and hit an oncoming car.  Neither woman was hurt but Shirley received a ticket for failing to drive safely.  The Citizens Patrol programme has been suspended pending an inquiry.  "I want to know who sent two little old ladies out in a squad car with a shotgun," says Rock County district attorney David O'Leary.  He is reviewing the case to see if criminal charges might be brought.

Pistol Packin' Mamas by Lin in Kansas
(with apologies to Al Dexter)

Lin's Comments:  Geez, sounds like some friends of mine... Sorry this is so darn long; it just grew!

Four big guys in a cop shop,
Shakin' hard with fright,
Said a little ol' gal done stole their ride,
At the grocery store tonight.

She yanked her rod and made some threats
And the boys left on the run.
Her permed gray hair blew back in the breeze
They made just gettin' gone.

CHORUS:
Oh Lay that pistol down, babe,
Lay that pistol down,
Pistol packin' mama,
Lay that pistol down!

Shirley and Jeune were on patrol
Relivin' Gray Panther days,
With the siren howlin' at 60 per
And the flashin' lights ablaze.

They saw a Safeway up ahead,
And decided to make a stop
For some Fix-a-Dent and some Geritol
And some diet soda pop.

(CHORUS)

They caught the scene in the parkin' lot
With Thelma and her gun
Groceries scattered on the macadam
And four guys on the run.

Shirley could barely see over the wheel,
But Jeune was naviagatin'
"Turn right!" she yelled, "No, your OTHER right!"
Shirl went left, no hesitatin'.

(CHORUS)

A pickup comin' the other way
Slammed on his brakes too late.
The squad car skidded across the road
Abandoned to its fate.

The C.O.P.s they kept their heads,
Jeune reached into the back.
And while Shirley talked on the radio,
Jeune got the shotgun from the rack.

(CHORUS)

It was showdown time at the old Safeway
Three seniors filled with pluck!
Wavin' firearms at whatever moved,
If they lived, it'd be just luck!

Then the fire truck came screamin' in
And a SWAT team in a van,
And a lawyer chap from down the street,
And that's when it hit the fan.

(CHORUS)

The ladies they all turned around
To see what was the matter.
And all those men as they hit the ground
Made an awful clatter.

Then Shirley cried out, "Why Thelma Smith!
Oh Lordy, is that you?"
And Thelma looked and squinted hard,
And said, "Well hi, you two!"

(CHORUS)

So by the time their rescuers
Had staggered out from cover,
The ladies had their stories straight,
The crisis was all over.

They took the gals into custody
Cause they'd been runnin' wild
But the Terrible Three, well, they went free—
Sarge said, "No charges filed."

(CHORUS)

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