SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  An Official Double Dip Dare . . . -- Dare One:  When This Pig Gets Pumped . . . -- A pot-bellied pig sank his teeth into the leg of a burglar who was trying to rob his owner.   Arnold, who weighs 21 stone, also stopped a burglar from getting into a neighbour's house by biting him.   The animal has become a celebrity among police officers in his home town of Minneapolis.   Arnold first showed his crime fighting abilities when his owner Becky Moyer spotted burglars in her garage.  She told the Star Tribune: "There were two guys in there.   One of them put something in my back that felt like a gun, and they said they wanted my purse.  I said my purse was in the house.  When we went in, I screamed for Arnold, and he got up and grabbed the guy by the leg.  He yelled, 'There's a pig in here!' and ran.  There was blood all over."  She added: "The police gave him that 'crime-fighter' name.  When they're in the neighbourhood, they like to stop by and pet him."  Arnold was a present from her boyfriend.   "Some people get lingerie," she said. "I got a pig."  Dare Two:  . . . The Police Get Pissed . . . -- A Florida policeman who caught a trouble-making pig after a 300-yard chase had to call for back-up to help him keep it under 'arrest'.  Ocala officer Carl Dunlap managed to hold on to the 14-stone pig's ears and hind legs but said he was afraid the pig would wriggle free.   Three fellow officers arrived on the scene and managed to herd it on to a trailer.   Residents had complained the pig had been destroying property.  "He spotted the hog, chased him for about 300 yards and finally was able to wrestle him to the ground,'' said Captain Robert Douglas, who heard his shouts for help over the radio.  Minutes later, Captain Douglas, Captain Mike Deen and Deputy John Shivley arrived on the scene to help Dunlap end the struggle.  "The first thing Dunlap said was that he sure was glad we showed up because he really didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to hold on," Captain Douglas said.  The four men loaded the pig on to a trailer and took it to Marion County Animal Control buildings, where officials placed the pig in a dog pen.


This Pig's Sure From Life's Other Side by mousethief
(Tune:  Pictures From Life's Other Side)


In the bucolic gall'ry of pictures
Hang scenes from the barnyards of life,
There's pictures of horses and duckies,
There's pictures of cows and of mice,
There's pictures of goats, sheep, and chickens
Old ones and new side by side
All hang on the wall, but the saddest of all,
Are the pictures from life's other side.

Chorus:
This pig's sure from life's other side,
In a mean-trottered, miserly way
He ought to be sliced up and fried,
Instead of out having his way;
Some poor old sow sits at home
She's watching and waiting alone,
Just longing to hear from her piglet so dear,
This pig's sure from life's other side.

The first scene is that of a cop
Holding a pig by its ears
He's frightened for his precious life
Which the 14-stone hog don't hold dear
He's calling for reinforce-ments
As he runs with the pig stride for stride
Then it's up on the trailer, and off to the jailer,
This pig's sure from life's other side.

(repeat chorus)

The next scene is that of two brothers
Two brother pigs, I should say
One bites would-be robbers for fun
One fights the cops in F-L-A
They're on opposite sides of the law
"You copper!" the ornery one cried,
"I wish you were dead!" the mean piggy said,
This pig's sure from life's other side

(repeat Chorus)

Does anyone know as a piglet
Which side of the law he'll be on?
While suckling at his mama's teat
'Fore his piglet innocence is gone?
Oh, what could make such a sweet swine
Fall so low as what can't be denied?
Who gives half a damn? Will you have some more ham?
This wallet's made from that pig's hide.

(repeat Chorus)

Copyright © 2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

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