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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
St. Patrick's Day 2000 Special Song Challenge:
Bob, Corned Beef and The Devil -- Dateline Boston, USA. Some Irish Catholics may have a beef with the church on St. Patrick's Day.
This year, the holiday falls on a Friday in Lent, the period when Roman Catholics are encouraged to abstain from eating meat as an act of penance and a reminder of the sacrifices of Jesus.
Many Catholic bishops, including Boston's and New York's, are giving dispensation to parishioners who want to partake of the traditional Irish-American meal of corned beef and cabbage.
But some bishops are refusing to let their congregations off the hook, like Bishop Sean O'Malley of Fall River, Massachusetts, has not issued a dispensation.
As a result, Catholics with a hankering for corned beef on March 17th may be heading to nearby Boston.
But even without a dispensation, there is a possible out for those who don't want to ignore the rules but feel a craving for corned beef:
They can travel to another diocese where the meal is deemed OK. "Corned beef and cabbage is a mainstay of our menu," says Jerry Burke, owner of
Doyle's Cafe, an Irish pub in Boston's Jamaica Plains neighborhood, "And people are going to do it anyway."
Mr. Burke expects to sell thousands of pounds of corned beef and cabbage this Friday.
Also included in the no-no parishes are those in Rockville Centre, New York and Brooklyn, New York."
Paddy And St. Peter by Lonesome EJ
The Irishman he stood in shame before God's Mighty Throne
The Pearly Gates were locked and chained as Paddy stood alone
While St Peter read in solemn tones from his record book of sin
"There's something ye must answer Lad, before we let ye in
Chorus:
Why oh why did ye eat corned beef upon the Lenten Day?
When Father Hennessy warned ye why did ye turn away?"
The Irishman he scratched his head as he began to think
Said "Peter pass that jug around for I surely need a drink"
He took a slug of Pete's Poteen, the finest in the sky
When Peter snatched the whiskey back and looked him in the eye (sayin')
Why oh why did ye eat corned beef upon the Lenten Day?
When Father Hennessy warned ye why did ye turn away?"
"I stayed away from sausages, from steak and hocks and gammon
but me Dear Wife was upset with me and told me it was salmon.
A mighty hunger gripped me and I'd torn through half a pound
Before I glimpsed the subterfuge, and knocked it to the ground."
Why oh why did ye eat corned beef upon the Lenten Day?
When Father Hennessy warned ye why did ye turn away?"
Peter had to laugh at this as he took another pour
(Sayin') "sure it was the seven pints made ye knock it on the floor
Now before I pull the golden chain that sends ye down the chute
I'll give ye one more chance to gain the Halo and White Suit"
Why oh why did ye eat corned beef upon the Lenten Day?
When Father Hennessy warned ye why did ye turn away?"
The Irishman he cleared his throat "Your Holiness" he said
"All life came up from the sea, or so I've sometimes read
And all the changes then were wrought by the Mighty Hand of God
Like makin' men from porpoises and cattle from the cod
Why oh why did ye eat corned beef upon the Lenten Day?
When Father Hennessy warned ye why did ye turn away?"
And who am I to interfere in God Almighty's plans
To snub the wondrous miracle he places in my hands?
For it is with the highest praise, that I glance down at me dish
And see the Corned Beef God Himself has transformed from a fish!"
Why oh why did ye eat corned beef upon the Lenten Day?
When Father Hennessy warned ye why did ye turn away?"
"Ye are a mighty liar, Pat, and a sort of King of Fools
But God allows me now and then to break some of the rules
Because ye are a clever lad I'll let ye in and risk it
And thank yer lucky stars because tonight we're havin' brisket !"
Why oh why did ye eat corned beef upon the Lenten Day?
When Father Hennessy warned ye why did ye turn away?"