Pants-Down Racers by Genie


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Brit Flits Nix Knicks! London (August 2001) -- Female athletes competing for Britain in the World Championships say their official team knickers are too skimpy. The runners are worried they will be flashing their bottoms at spectators. Officials say they don't want athletes to feel uncomfortable and have allowed them to wear last year's Olympic kit. Kathy Butler, who is competing in the 5000m at the championships in Canada, says the small knickers have left athletes with a dilemma. "If you pull them up you can see your bum and when you pull them down you can see your hips. They just don't fit properly," she said. She added: "I can't find my old Olympic ones, so I'll be wearing the hipsters." A spokesman for UK Athletics said that officials have given the all-clear for runners to wear last year's design. "Something had to be done. We can't ask our top athletes to run 25 laps wearing something they feel uncomfortable in," he said.

Pants-Down Racers by Genie
(Tune: Camptown Races)

Pants-down racers flash their hips
Doo-dah doo-dah
Guys in the crowd got smiles on their lips,
Oh de doo dah day

Briefs too brief make it hard to run
Doo-dah doo-dah
Pull 'em up and ya flash yer buns
Oh, de-doo-dah day

Gonna run so fast,
Don't need no half-bare ass.
Need new knickers for a hide-tail run
Somebody get 'em today.

Twenty-five laps is far too long
Doo-dah, doo-dah
When your shorts ride up like a *@!*ing thong!
Oh, de-doo-dah day

Don't want no buns in sight,
Don't want no buns display;
Need new knickers for a hide-tail run
Somebody get 'em today.

Last year's knickers they did the job,
Doo-dah doo-dah,
Didn't flash my crack like a hard-hat slob,
Oh, de-doo-dah day!

This year's knickers bare too much skin,
Doo-dah doo-dah,
For those cold Canadian winds,
Oh, de-doo-dah day!

Don't want no buns in sight,
Don't want no bum display;
Need new knickers for a hide-tail run
Somebody get 'em today.

Too-short knickers, they make me edgy,
Doo-dah doo-dah,
Try to cover my hips, gotta run with a wedgie!
Oh, de-doo-dah day!

Don't wanna run up-tight,
Don't want no bum display;
Need new knickers for a hide-tail run
Somebody get 'em today