Onward Parget Patriots! by Áine


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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

The Song Challenge: Mummy, Where Did The Funny Little Man In The Garden Go? PARIS -- The dormant Garden Gnome Liberation Front has sprung back to life, stealing about 20 gnomes during a nighttime raid on a Paris exhibition. "We demand ... that garden gnomes are no longer ridiculed and that they be released into their natural habitat," the Front's Paris wing said in a statement following its weekend strike. France's first garden gnome exhibition in the exclusive Bagatelle park on the outskirts of the capital opened last month and has been a hit with the public as chic Parisians develop a taste for kitsch culture. The Garden Gnome Liberation Front vanished from the public eye in 1997 after a northern French court handed its ringleader a suspended prison sentence and fined him for his part in the disappearance of around 150 gnomes. The only suspected sighting of the organization since then was a mass suicide of gnomes at Briey in eastern France in September 1998, when 11 of them were found dangling by their necks under a bridge. A letter found nearby said: "When you read these few words we will no longer be part of your selfish world, where we serve merely as pretty decoration." Now, the sight of 2,000 of the gaudy, colorful creatures dotted around the Bagatelle gardens has clearly proved too big a temptation for the group to avoid. It warned that it would strike again unless the show was closed and all the gnomes released. Organizers told the daily Le Parisien that they had no intention of bowing to the Front's demands.

Onward Parget Patriots! by Áine
(Tune: Onward Christian Soldiers)

Onward parget patriots
Marching through Paree
With pointy hats of freedom
On to victory!
Trample o'er the clinging vines
Rhus toxicodendronae
Lay your barrows and your pots down
Then you will be free!

Chorus:
Onward parget patriots
Marching through Paree
With pointy hats of freedom
On to victory!

Onward gnomes from Dies to Dijon
Let's march on to Lourdes
Gathering our brothers
To the mortar hordes
If we crack or shatter
We shall not be waylaid
Break our fingers, chip our noses
We shall not be staid!

Chorus

Onward plaster patriarchs
Down topiaried lanes
We shall not be spackled
Or be bound by chains
Free to roam the hills and dales
We shall multiply
Overtake the human gardeners
With our might cry!

Chorus

Onward elves of albarium
Free the stuccoed slaves!
Lift the pink flamingoes
From their imprisoning staves
Raise up the plastic daisies
Stick them in your hat
We will stand by grassy knolls
Not by the welcome mat!

Chorus

Onward sprites of scagliola
Through the garden gate
Do not lag or tarry
Do not hesitate
You'll be stuck with gobs of grout
'Midst the pottery
Be mishandled and abused
Just like old crockery!

Chorus