SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Don't You Think They'd Get A Stiff Neck? -- Two University of Kentucky professors have been awarded a patent for an intranasal for of Sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, which would produce almost instantaneous effects.  Anwar Hussein and Lewis Dittert, who filed for the patent in Dec'98 and received international media attention, were awarded the patent in March.   They said their delivery system would allow patients to get results in 5 to 15 minutes.  In pill form, Viagra takes about an hour to work.  Somebody go and tell Catspaw to keep a squinty eye on this one . . . I think it's gonna be good!!


One Squirt Over the Line by Áine
(Tune: One Toke Over the Line – Brewer and Shipley)

Refrain:
One squirt over the line, Sweet Jesus, one squirt over the line,
Sittin' downtown in a poh-leez station, one squirt over the line.
Waitin' for my wife to take my home, sweet Mary,
Hopin' that she'll pay my fine,
Sittin' downtown in a poh-leez station,
One squirt over the line.

I took a walk, to the store in town,
For the past few days, I'd been a little down.
Feelin' like a wanker, ready to check out,
Then I saw the sign –
With just a squirt, a sniff and a smile,
It promised I'd feel fine, and now I'm

One squirt over the line, Sweet Jesus, one squirt over the line,
Sildenafil in hand, I rushed up to the counter, one squirt over the line.
The Chemist, he was rushin', to get out of there early,
Duck huntin' on his mind,
I heard him mumble 'one per hour',
Now I'm one squirt over line.

I ran home to Mary, with my little prize,
One squirt and BINGO, it grew before my eyes.
Well, feeling a mite sweaty, I opened up the window,
Above our marriage bed,
Then I went and pumped one squirt too many,
It went right to my head, and now I'm

One squirt over the line, Sweet Jesus, one squirt over the line,
Came a gust of wind and blew me ten miles high, one squirt over line.
Right into a flock of Trumpeter Swans
That was migrating by,
With my face turning blue, and my white arms flappin',
I was one squirt over the line.

I sailed away, more than a country mile,
Then one of them swans, attracted by my 'smile',
Flapped a little closer, reached out with a feather,
And to my surprise,
It touched a place you could never imagine,
And I began to rise, and now I'm

One squirt over the line, Sweet Jesus, one squirt over the line,
Bein' molested by a feathered white pen, one squirt over the line.
Flyin' cross the lake in duck hunting season,
Hopin' that I don't see a blind,
Wishin' that I hadn't a squeezed so hard,
'Cuz now I'm one squirt over the line.

I knew I had trouble, when he came into view,
The Chemist in his orange hat, his gun a shinin' with dew,
Flappin' and a squawkin', I advised him of my presence,
Then I remembered too late,
As well as deaf, he was very nearsighted,
So I resigned to fate that I was

One squirt over the line, Sweet Jesus, one squirt over the line,
Saw the muzzle flash, and then I was fallin', one squirt over the line.
Thought as I saw my death quickly approachin',
I'd had the ride of all time,
Though I felt I'd cheated on my sweet Mary,
With one squirt over the line.

Then, as I tumbled, thinkin' that I was dead,
The beak of my pen pal, it grabbed my shrinking head,
Well, we fell onto the Chemist, his muzzle up my hinder,
The swan still hangin' tight,
That's how they found us, covered in hoarfrost,
A 'dada' sculpture in white, and I was

One squirt over the line, Sweet Jesus, one squirt over the line,
Waitin' downtown in a poh-leez station, one squirt over the line.
Yeah, I'm walkin' strange, but I'm alive, Sweet Mary,
And I learned my lesson this time,
Squeezin' too hard for instant gratification,
Sends you one squirt over the line.

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