Omaha Dump by Genie


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Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, But Rita Got Returned To Wal-Mart OMAHA, Nebraska (Reuters) - A Nebraska woman who received an ornate box for Christmas and returned it to Wal-Mart without looking inside discovered later it contained the ashes of her recently deceased sister, a newspaper reported on Friday. Judy Money received the box as a gift from her brother who lives in Iowa. But after unwrapping the package on Christmas Eve she saw the box had a broken knob and decided to return it to Wal-Mart without ever looking at the contents inside, the Omaha World-Herald reported. When Money later confessed to her brother that she had returned his gift, he told her the box contained the ashes of their sister, who had died Dec. 11, the Herald said. Marvin Tippery, Money's brother, told the Herald he was shocked when he found out she had returned the box. "No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there," the Herald quoted him as telling Money. Money told the Herald she made a mad dash back to Wal-Mart, but the box had already been thrown out with the trash. Money and her brother finally found the box on Thursday amid trash piles at an area landfill. "My prayers have been answered," she told the Herald. "Just the thought of having her in the dump was awful."

Omaha Dump by Genie (Chorus borrowed, with permission, from Sonja)
(Tune: Clementine

Chorus:
Omaha dump, Omaha dump,
Omaha dump dank with grime!
Sister's lost and gone within ya,
Now her ashes we must find.

In a landfill in a cavern
Excavating for some ash
Crawled Nebraskans with their bare hands
Sifting through the miles of trash.

Chorus

Diapers, bras and sheit* and feathers,
Sandal shoes and gum and twine
Herring boxes and old mopses
They must search, their sis to find.

Chorus

"Drove to Wal-Mart Christmas Eve just
To return bad merchandise;
Didn't know our sis was in there,
Having met her sad demise.

Chorus

"Rube-ish clerks there at the Wal-Mart
Blew our chance to take her back;
'Way too fast to the trash they cast 'er,
So we're here--Gawd! What a drag!!"

Chorus

In a corner of the landfill
Where glow eerie, crawly bugs,
There they found their dear departed
'Mid tin cans and Gallo jugs.

Chorus

How they kissed her, how they kissed her,
How they kissed her little box!
Now they've ashes on their glasses
And a mouthful of dirty rocks!

Chorus