Those Olympic Knickers by Amos


The Mudcat Forum	The Mudcat Resource Pages	The Mudcat Midi Page	The Digital Tradition Folk Song Server
Back to The Mudcat Songbook		Back to The Song Challenge Winners!
Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

Brit Flits Nix Knicks! London (August 2001) -- Female athletes competing for Britain in the World Championships say their official team knickers are too skimpy. The runners are worried they will be flashing their bottoms at spectators. Officials say they don't want athletes to feel uncomfortable and have allowed them to wear last year's Olympic kit. Kathy Butler, who is competing in the 5000m at the championships in Canada, says the small knickers have left athletes with a dilemma. "If you pull them up you can see your bum and when you pull them down you can see your hips. They just don't fit properly," she said. She added: "I can't find my old Olympic ones, so I'll be wearing the hipsters." A spokesman for UK Athletics said that officials have given the all-clear for runners to wear last year's design. "Something had to be done. We can't ask our top athletes to run 25 laps wearing something they feel uncomfortable in," he said.

Those Olympic Knickers by Amos
(Tune: The Old Oaken Bucket)

How oft to my mind spring those Olympic runners
When fond recollection presents them to view
The ones that rode high, the naturalist sunners
The ones with the tan lines, in knickers so blue!

I was only a bachelor, a single so lonesome
I went to the races to ease my poor mind
I thought I'd go home on the bus on my ownsome
'Til a caught a glimpse of your precious behind!

Chorus:
Those Olympic knickers, they made the crowd snicker!
Dear Olympic knickers, too low or too high!
I'll never forget, dear, the view from the bleachers,
'Twas either your cheek-tops, or the top of your thighs!

The roar of the crowd and the race-fever caught me
I knew the Commission would call it "Disgrace!"
But my blood was boiling at the sight of your butt, dear,
And I leapt over the wall, and I ran after the race!!
I came up alongside as you burst through that ribbon!
The twinkling muscles of your bottom stood still,
I asked you while panting, if you would have dinner,
And you squirmed in your knickers, and answered "I will!"

Those Olympic knickers, they made the crowd snicker!
Dear Olympic knickers, too low or too high!
I'll never forget, dear, the view from the bleachers,
'Twas either your cheek-tops, or the top of your thighs!

Now, I've got to tell you after ten years of marriage,
An unpleasant secret I've had on my mind,
The Racing Committee unoffically told me,
In pursuit of your bottom, I bested your time!
So dear, don't be angry, as softly I tell you,
I hope you'll forgive me after all of this time
I know this is hard, but you might as well face it,
The gold medal you won is unofficially mine!

Those Olympic knickers, they made the crowd snicker!
Dear Olympic knickers, too low or too high!
I'll never forget, dear, the view from the bleachers,
'Twas either your cheek-tops, or the top of your thighs!