SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Who Left Uncle Harry In The Bushes? July 6, 2000 - Fort Worth, Texas: Maintenance worker John Truex was minding his own business as he walked the grounds of the Woodhill Apartments on Monday, when he spied an odd-looking wooden box under a bush. "He had no idea what it was," said the manager of the complex. "It looked like a little coffin."  Truex took the box to the apartment office to show the manager and other staff members what he found. Curious, the group opened the lid and discovered a sealed brass box inside. They couldn't open the brass box, and couldn't figure out what it was, so they called the police. Office r W.T. Byrnes arrived at the scene and was just as stumped by the 1-foot-long by 4-inch-wide box, which seemed to be missing a display plate. "I wasn't real sure what it was," Byrnes said. "I called funeral homes in the area and they said, 'Yes, we package things like that,' and I said, 'Eeeeyew!'"  "According to a couple of funeral homes," continued Officer Byrnes, "they take ashes, put them in a plastic bag with a label of who it is and then put them in a box that they seal up and then put in a display case." Byrnes turned the little box over to the Medical Examiner's Office; however, the staff members there declined to comment yesterday. The statement from spokeswoman Linda Anderson was, "As it stands right now, we don't have any information on it -- All we have is a box."  But the apartment manager has heard otherwise. "It's an urn of some sort," she said. "The medical examiner's office found out that it is a lady from Granbury, but they haven't contacted any relatives. But I'm sure when a person finds out that their relative was left here, we will be hearing from them . . . (but) you've got to wonder who would leave Uncle Harry under a bush . . . .". 

O Where, Tell Me Where, Has My Uncle Harry Gone? by Bradypus
(Tune:  'O Where, Tell Me Where, Has Your Highland Laddie Gone' ) 

O where, tell me where, has my Uncle Harry gone
Where, tell me where, has my Uncle Harry gone ?
I left him on the mantel, at least that's what I think
And I'm sad that he's gone, so I'll fix myself a drink

O how, tell me how, could he sit upon the shelf
How, tell me how, could he sit upon the shelf ?
My Uncle Harry's dead, only ashes we have left
And they're kept in a box, and I'm feeling quite bereft

O how, tell me how, did your Uncle Harry die
How, tell me how, did your Uncle Harry die ?
He was ogling the mermaid that sits out on the rocks
Heart attack caused his death, then we put him in that box

O what, tell me what, were they singing at his wake
What, tell me what, were they singing at his wake ?
They sang an old sea shanty, of mermaids fair and false
But the lead singer was tipsy, and led them in a waltz.

O how, tell me how, did they take him to the grave
How, tell me how, did they take him to the grave ?
We raised him on our shoulders, and everyone did hum
And that is how we took him to the crematorium

O where, tell me where, has my Uncle Harry gone
Where, tell me where, has my Uncle Harry gone ?
O look into the garden, and keep a bit of hush
Like a famous old meatball, he's underneath a bush!

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