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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge: I Want My Twinkie And I Want It Now! -- Biddeford, Maine, March 23 - Last week, panic began to spread through the Northwest United States as workers dumped loaves of bread off a loading dock during a strike at the Interstate Bakeries Corp.
Why the bother? This strike of truck drivers prevented the delivery of Wonder Bread and other products, such as Twinkies, across the Northwest US. Wonder Bread, as every good American child knows, is that wonderful, sweet, doughy white bread that one can either ingest or, with a little spit or milk, make funny molded shapes with.
When hardened, it makes fantastic projectiles for peashooters. Generations of American children grew up eating this bread, before the advent of wheat bread into a more health-conscious market.
But the real panic was due to the shortage of Twinkies - the one food product that has been guaranteed by experts to survive a nuclear blast.
An oblong, tan, mushy, cream-filled pastry so sweet that it has been known to rot teeth merely by being looked at, it is lusted after by all children and adults needing a quick sugar fix, and has been popular in the US for years, often imitated but never replaced in the soul of the country.
To the relief of these Twinkie-deprived folks, the eight-day strike ended last Thursday.
'Right now, it sounds like everyone is going to get their Twinkies.' said Robert Piccone, president of Teamsters Local 340.
Because of the strike, the company's Biddeford plant was shut down, putting 400 bakers out of work.
On the picket line in Biddeford, where the drivers had put up a banner that said "Fort Twinkie" at their tarp-covered shelter, a cheer was raised when they heard the news that the strike was
over .
The Object Of My Confection by Hyperabid
(Tune: Candle in the Wind – E. John / B. Taupin )
Hyperabid's Comments: I guess I should explain some terminology a bit. "E" numbers in the UK are used to denote flavourings and preservatives etc. used in food. Secondly I think cling-film may be called cling-wrap in the US. A short first effort admittedly having a go at a food I've never tasted – but then again it seems to be a national
pastime over in the US so I couldn't resist joining in.
Goodbye E-15 - The colouring that makes you yellow
And to the preservative that keeps you fresh for years
Goodbye margarine - sugar, flower and nuclear waste
You see I finally found out how - you keep that just-baked taste
And it seems to me, industrial strife will make the twinkie addicts cringe
Never knowing the sound of cling-film before they bite in
And I might have liked to try one - but they don't sell them here
In the land of fried food - and dark-warm English beer
Ciao cholesterol – The time has come for celery
And maybe once again to show my face round at the gym
So-long sugar-fix – Maybe I should try some low fat food
Or even add some fibre to my dietary mix
And it seems to me, industrial strife will make the twinkie addicts cry
Never knowing the joy of whipped-cream pushing their pressure high
And I might have liked to try one - but it won't do no good
In the land where curry – is the most popular food