SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  Is That A Baby Budgie In Your Pants, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me? -- RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) -- With parrots and snakes in his luggage and bird eggs tucked into his underwear, an Austrian tourist has been arrested and charged for animal trafficking, Brazilian police said on Wednesday.   "He put (the eggs) near his testicles so they would be at nest temperature," a police spokesman said.  Police discovered 21 parrots, four parakeets and two snakes hidden in two large suitcases carried by Austrian botanist Johann Zillinger.  hey also found Zillinger had rolled five parakeet eggs into a sock and nestled them in his underwear.  "Since some of the parakeets that he had with him were newborns, we assume that some of the eggs had already hatched."  Tipped off by an anonymous call, Rio de Janeiro police arrested the Austrian on Monday in front of his Copacabana beach hotel, as he climbed into a taxi on his way to catch a flight to Europe.  According to police, Zillinger bought the animals in the Amazon port city of Belen and planned to take them to Austria to sell them in Europe.


The Night Before Johann Was Searched by derrymacash
(To the tune of "The Night Before Larry Was Stretched")

The night before Johann was searched
The boys and me paid him a visit
Into his hotel room we lurched
"The stuff" Johann asked us "where is it?"
For Johann was ever the lad
To be fixing to make him a killin'
If profit there was to be had
Then Jo would make manys the shillin'
And guineas and fivers forbye

The boys and me crowded in fast
And drew all our stools round about him
"Who's first? And who will be last?"
That gave rise to a fair bit of shoutin'
But Johann he said "Settle down
Let's act like you're men used to dealin'
Fine, honoured men about town
Not rogues at home with sheep-stealin'
And rustlin' of catlle as well"

"I'm sorry dear Johann" says I
"To cause any agg-a-ravation
And blister my limbs if I lie
We mean to cause no agitation
We'll step up now, each in his turn
To offer you creatures of quality
We peasants have not, it seemed, learned
To behave with all due formality"
And with that, the business commenced

I offered a fine pair of birds
And a reptile of some unknown variety
They really were the last word
Fit for any Zoological Society
And next up came parrots and frogs
A monkey, a blushing flamingo
Fishes and two types of dog
A snake and a bloody great dingo
(God knows how that bugger got here!)

And Johann at last said "Enough!
Much thanks for your netting and trappin'
I've got myself plenty of stuff
On my door back at home they'll be rappin'"
And off we slunk into the night
Each clutching his wad of blood-money
And Johann prepared for his flight
Thinking he'd have a clear run (He
Couldn't have known the result!)

Never do business with thieves
Forget about "honour among"
For one of our crowd was aggrieved
And determined to see Johann hung
Just as Judas betrayed with a kiss
Yer man with the beard and the sandals
Johann met his nemesis
And the news was one hell of a scandal
(They're writing songs 'bout it yet!)

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