Needle Good and Greasy by Genie


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The Song Challenge: The Day That Saji's Sari Slipped and Baji's Bobbin Got Buffed . . . India's health minister has banned the use of condoms to lubricate bobbins used in weaving saris. CP Thakur has told parliament sari makers are using condoms to speed up weaving because condom lubricant was also good at stopping yarn from snapping. Mr. Thakur claims the use of so many condoms in the sari industry is affecting India's population control programme. "Instructions have been issued to stop this practice," Mr Thakur said. Mr Thakur says the use of condoms in weaving is causing shortages and instances of unscrupulous government health workers meant to distribute free condoms to contain population instead selling the condoms to sari makers. Workers rub the condoms on bobbins while they make their brocade saris. The industry is using an estimated half a million condoms every day. Each of the 125,000 looms in the city of Varanasi uses an average four condoms per day. It takes nearly 15 condoms to produce one Benarasi sari. The lubricant on the condom smoothens the bobbin and makes it move faster between threads..

Needle Good and Greasy by Genie
(Tune: Skillet Good and Greasy)

Well, I'm goin' to the fact'ry,
Make the saris satisfact'ry,
Rub a condom on my bobbin,
Keep my needle good and greasy
All the time, time, time,
Needle good and greasy,
Needle good and greasy,
Needle good and greasy all the time.

Now in Bombay town
Population's out of hand, We
Sell the condoms to The Man, We
Keep the women fat and queasy
All the time, time, time,
Women fat and queasy,
Women fat and queasy,
Women fat and queasy all the time.

If The Man say "Sew!
We've just got to make some mo'!"
We'll start shootin' out more saris
All the time, time, time.
Shootin' out more saris,
Shootin' out more saris,
Shootin' out more saris all the time.

'Cause, down in sari fact'ry town,
Condoms move the bobbins easy,
Keep de needles good and greasy
All the time, time, time,
Needles good and greasy,
Needles good and greasy,
Needles good and greasy all the time.