SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Whilst cleaning up the old Song Challenge! files, getting ready for the Songbook's big move 'home', I found several Challenge! ideas that seem to be tied together in some, like, ya know, cosmic way, man.   ;-)   So, being that goddesses have to be cruel to be kind (oh behave, Amos!), I've decided to raise the bar for the Whole Bag O' Chips by creating a new award -- The Double Dip Copper Cow Chip (with Sprinkles), which will be awarded for connecting the dizzying dots between two or more Challenge! ideas in a song for any Official Double Dip Dare from the Keeper of the Book.   And for my first 'Official' Double Dip Dare, please do not adjust your seat belts and consider the following . . .

Boys who play with their praties . . . -- (OSLO, Norway) Police have confiscated a potentially lethal home-made cannon capable of firing potatoes up to 160 feet.  Six youths in the seaside town of Kristiansand in southern Norway used instructions on the Internet to build the weapon from everyday household objects.  "This home-made weapon is extremely dangerous both for those using it and those being fired at," a police spokesman told the newspaper Faedrelandsvennen.  The boys loaded potatoes down a plastic tube, where an electric ignition device from a gas-fuelled barbecue was installed.  By spraying a flammable gas into the tube and sealing the open end with a cap, potatoes were converted into projectiles with one push of the red ignition button.  Police said the cannon was capable of launching any object similar in size and weight to potatoes.

. . . grow up to be men with issues . . . -- London's Steve Bennett continues his quest to become the world's most successful amateur rocket engineer, with all systems go for launching himself into space in a "test flight" (to an altitude of 10,000 feet) in 2003 on a venture that most professional engineers called foolhardy, according to a June story reported by the BBC.  The more that is known about Bennett's mission (e.g., he recently said it would be a rocket capsule made from a cement mixer, with modest installation and a small computer), the more rocket scientists believe his launch will result in instant death.  However, the louder the criticism, the more certain of himself Bennett professes to be. He still rejects conventional preparations such as wind-tunnel tests and g-force tests:  "That is what the test flight is for," he said.


My Beautiful Cement Mixer by mousethief
(Tune: My Beautiful Balloon (Up Up and Away)

mousethief's Comments: Did you know Jimmy Webb wrote that song? I didn't!

Would you like to churn in my beautiful cement mixer?
Would you like to burn in my beautiful cement mixer?
We could fall to earth in cinders like two stupid fools

But we'd have ruled!
While NASA drooled!
Up, up and away in my beautiful cement mixer!

The world's way down below my beautiful cement mixer
Wish I'd thought of a way to slow my beautiful cement mixer
We can blaze along the ionosphere in a silver gleam!

While we stream!
And our entrails steam!
Up, up and away in my beautiful cement mixer!

We'll shoot up ten thousand feet in minutes
While the G-forces really thin us!
And if by some chance we come down alive
We'll tell the press "we told you!
Although we'd hate to scold you!"

Death is waiting there in my beautiful cement mixer!
We'll wish we'd brought some air in my beautiful cement mixer!
If you hold my hand, our charred remains will mingle through!

Oh we turned blue!
'Fore we were stew!
Up up and away! Up up and away!
Down down and kersplat! Down down and kersplat!

(repeat and fade mercifully)

Copyright ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved

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