SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Brit Flits Nix Knicks!  London (August 2001) -- Female athletes competing for Britain in the World Championships say their official team knickers are too skimpy. The runners are worried they will be flashing their bottoms at spectators.  Officials say they don't want athletes to feel uncomfortable and have allowed them to wear last year's Olympic kit.  Kathy Butler, who is competing in the 5000m at the championships in Canada, says the small knickers have left athletes with a dilemma.  "If you pull them up you can see your bum and when you pull them down you can see your hips.  They just don't fit properly," she said.  She added: "I can't find my old Olympic ones, so I'll be wearing the hipsters."  A spokesman for UK Athletics said that officials have given the all-clear for runners to wear last year's design.  "Something had to be done. We can't ask our top athletes to run 25 laps wearing something they feel uncomfortable in," he said.


Must Our Assets Be Uncovered? by Sonja
(Tune: 3 guesses)

Chorus:
Must our assets be uncovered
When we run, Lord, when we run?
There's a better kind of knickers
For our hips and for our buns.

I was racin 5000 meters
For the glory of the Queen,
But my father there in the bleachers
Saw what no dad should be seein'.

Chorus

I don't wanta knock the Committee,
Don't wanta be a lousy sport,
But these new Olympic knickers
They are just a tad too short.

Chorus

If they hide your buns down under
So you're covered from the back,
Then they turn into low riders
So you flash the crowd your crack.

Chorus

Twenty-five laps are too many
When your drawers ride up your thigh!
Guys, your "jock itch" can't hold a candle
To the stress of knickers ridin' high!

Chorus

Guess I'll dig out last year's knickers,
Though they're patched and torn, it's true.
'Cause these new ones just don't cover
Me new Union Jack tattoo!

Chorus

I was hopin' for endorsements
From Adidas and L.A. Gear,
But all I get is bids from Hustler,
From my now world-famous rear!

Chorus

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