SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Not one to let you Challenge!rs rest on your laurels (or cow chips, as the case may be), here's a great two-fer-one Challenge! from myself and the doesterr.  You have a choice here -- you can write a song about either of these topics, OR, you can write a song that includes both topics, thus qualifying for the Two-Fer-One Award! 

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(This one is from doesterr) 

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?  This could only happen in California....(true story) -- Car Jacking Foiled: An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found four unknown males in her car.  She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she "knows how to use it and that she will if required... so get out of the car! "   The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation, but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.   Small problem: her key wouldn't fit the ignition.  Her car was an identical model and was parked four or five spaces further down.  She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.  The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman...no charges were filed. 

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And here's mine: 

Car 54 - Where Are You?  Pensioners cause mayhem in police car - Police are investigating how two 76-year-old women got hold of a squad car and drove it with sirens blaring and lights flashing - before crashing it.  The little old ladies were "Citizens on Patrol" volunteers who drive around Beloit, Wisconsin, looking out for suspicious behaviour - but they are NOT supposed to drive squad cars.  They were asked to go to the scene of an accident to help control traffic but ended up in the police squad car instead of one of the unmarked police cars they normally use, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.  Shirley Nelson and neighbour Jeune Nelson kept the radio on during the incident and were heard asking each other for directions.  Their adventure ended when they went through a red light and hit an oncoming car.  Neither woman was hurt but Shirley received a ticket for failing to drive safely.  The Citizens Patrol programme has been suspended pending an inquiry.  "I want to know who sent two little old ladies out in a squad car with a shotgun," says Rock County district attorney David O'Leary.  He is reviewing the case to see if criminal charges might be brought.

More Deadly Than The Male by McGrath of Harlow

McGrath's Comments:  Here's my song again, with the words a bit modified, and some chords (not that that's much indication of a tune) - but it also fits well enough to Johnson's Motor Car, which is appropriate enough, since they are both songs about a car getting hijacked.

When (G)Sally Jones went out shopping, she did not (D)expect to (G)find 
that her car was full of strangers of the most suspicious (D)kind - 
but her (G)heart it did not falter, her courage did not (C)fail -
the (G)female of the species is more (F)deadly (C)than the (G)male.

So she fixed those bold intruders with a piercing scornful glance
and she pulled a pistol from her bag, and boldly did advance
and they looked at her in panic, and each one of them turned pale - 
for the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

And they leapt out and they scattered, like a flock of frightened sheep
And Sally stood in triumph, with her shopping in a heap
and she thought in modest pride about the way she'd tell the tale -
of how the female of the species was more deadly than the male.

So she reached into her bag again, pulled out a bunch of keys,
and she pushed the key into the lock - and her heart began to freeze
for the key it would not fit, and all at once she felt so frail -
and the female of the species blushed more redly than the male.

And parked there just alongside was a car, looked just the same,
and the other car was her car, and the shameful truth was plain
she had stolen those poor fellows car, and she gave a little wail.
Sure the female of the species must be headed for the jail.

But Sally did not panic - so she went to tell the law
all about the thing that she had done - and in the station house she saw
those four big men, all shaking as they told their dreadful tale
about the female of the species, far more deadly than the male. 

© Kevin McGrath (May 1st 2000)

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