Medicine Man by Bradypus


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The Song Challenge: Don't You Think They'd Get A Stiff Neck? -- Two University of Kentucky professors have been awarded a patent for an intranasal for of Sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, which would produce almost instantaneous effects. Anwar Hussein and Lewis Dittert, who filed for the patent in Dec'98 and received international media attention, were awarded the patent in March. They said their delivery system would allow patients to get results in 5 to 15 minutes. In pill form, Viagra takes about an hour to work. Somebody go and tell Catspaw to keep a squinty eye on this one . . . I think it's gonna be good!!

Medicine Man by Bradypus

Bradypus' Comments: So many good songs already - here's a slightly different angle. The tune is 'Cod Liver Ile', in the DT, but it's essentially a slight variation on Sweet Betsy from Pike.

Patient 1
O Doctor, O Doctor, the pain in my ear
Since last time I saw you it's got worse, I fear.
The tablets you gave me just don't do the trick
And I think I'm in danger of going deaf quick.

Doctor
Let me look at the problem. Ah yes; now I see.
The cause of your deafness is quite clear to me
I'll remove the remnants, and then you will hear
And then swallow the tablets; they don't go in your ear.

Patient 2
O Doctor, O Doctor, I'm pregnant again.
How it happened I don't know, the why, where or when
The pills that you gave me I took without doubt -
The problem might be that they kept falling out!

Doctor
Yes, pregnant again – may it still bring you joy
In eight months or more, a fine girl or a boy
Let me give you a lesson in sound birth control –
What you do with those pills is you swallow them whole!

Patient 3
O Doctor, O Doctor, I can't please my wife
It's getting the cause of more trouble and strife
The spray that you gave me, I didn't forget
Nor did I get stiff – I just got a bit wet

Doctor
They say that Viagra's a wonderful cure
If you use it correctly it'll help you, I'm sure
That spray doesn't spray on where you think it goes –
What to do with the spray? Stick it right up your nose!