SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Here we go again, dear Challenge!rs  --  In celebration (not!) of yet another bloody slab leak under my new house (ah, the fond memories of jackhammers come flooding back to me . . .), I've picked a story about love, relationships, money, law enforcement, and toilets.   So, roll up your pant legs, sharpen your crayons, and unwind the TP to write your best song about   --   The Love That Bites The Big One:   Police in North Platte, Nebraska, have a case with bite.   They were called to the home of a 55-year-old woman who dropped her false teeth in the toilet, after she had been partying and drinking with her boyfriend.   The toilet backed up and the boyfriend called a plumber.   The plumber charged $50 to retrieve the dentures, which the boyfriend paid.   But the boyfriend refused to give the teeth to woman until he was paid back.   That's where the cops come in.   The woman called police, saying she didn't have the money and couldn't eat without her teeth.   Police say they sat the two down and had the pair work out deal.   She signed an IOU and he gave back the choppers.


Maybelle's Snowy Dentures by Amos
(Tune: Maxwell's Silver Hammer)

Widow May Veraggio,
Squandering insurance dough,
Parties late at night!
In her double-wide she kicks up her heels, ee-ee-eels
Fifths of rye and gin
With her newest lover Slim,
Down the hatch they dispatch that booze with zeal, ee-ee-eel

But as the booze it gets to her head
She feels an urgent need
Clang clang! Maybelle's snowy dentures came flying from her face!
Clang Clang! Maybelle's dentures landed in such an awful place!

Maybelle starts to groan
As she kneels before the throne,
Feeling awfully low!
Dinner and cheap Bordeaux make their call, oh, oh-oh-oh!
Fears she'll bother Slim
And he'll decide she's not for him!
So she pulls the chain
She'll pretend it was just a powder call, wo-wo-wo!

But as the mess begins to go down
There comes a gruesome sound!
Clang clang! Maybelle's snowy dentures get lodged inside the trap!
Clang clang! Soon the bathroom's filling with half digested pap.

Maybelle rolls her eyes, now her fate she can't disguise,
Slim picks up the phone,
Asks the plumber "Come to Maybelle's home, o-o-ome".
In comes Plumber Tim, this is awful nice of him, and he does the trick
Soon the drain unsticks, and the blockage gone, ah-ah-awn.

But Maybelle finds her purse has run dry -
Her cash all spent on booze!!
Clang, Clang! Maybelle's plumber puts the bite on Mister Slim!!
Clang clang! Maybelle's snowy dentures --- now belong to him!!

Slim is pretty sore, thinks of heading out the door,
What a lousy night!
All he got for his time is a second-hand bite, i-yi-yite!
Maybelle's feeling low, seeing Slim prepare to go, no-one's getting laid!
As he tells her thanks for the party, woooh, o-o-ohh

But as he's getting ready to go, she asks him for her teeth!
Clang clang! Maybelle's snowy dentures, into his pocket go!
Clang clang! He says Maybelle's dentures are being held for dough!!

Maybelle's getting red, calls the local Sherrif Jed,
Tells him Slim is inflicting grievous harm, ar-ar-arm
Jed comes right around with an awful sireen sound,
Says "You two must find some common ground! Ow-ow-ound!"

So Maybelle signs a note for the teeth
And Slim hopes there'll be more...
Clang clang! Maybelle's snowy dentures are back inside her face!
Clang, clang! And she's locking the door in old Slim's face!

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