The Man Who Made Lenin's Gold Toilet by mousethief


The Mudcat Forum	The Mudcat Resource Pages	The Mudcat Midi Page	The Digital Tradition Folk Song Server
Back to The Mudcat Songbook		Back to The Song Challenge Winners!
Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

The Song Challenge: Yes, Virginia, There Really Is A Pot O' Gold! -- (HONG KONG, China) A Hong Kong jeweler has opened his doors to what is possibly the world's most glamorous convenience -- a glittering golden bathroom complete with two 24-carat solid gold toilets. Having learned in school that Lenin had wanted to make gold toilets for the Russian people, Lam Sai-wing says he had long dreamed of creating the ultimate in lavish loos. Now the owner of a successful jewelers, Lam has finally turned his ideal dream into a $4.9 million reality. Replete with gold wash basins, toilet brushes, toilet paper holders, mirrors, chandeliers and even wall tiles and doors made of solid gold, the 45-year old businessman calls his creation "a combination of my thoughts and ideals". Inside the ceiling of the "ancient Roman-style" washroom is encrusted with ruby, sapphire, emerald and amber. However, visitors to Lam's luxury lavatory will find that it is open only to an exclusive few. Potential users will have to spend at least HK$1,000 (U.S.$138) on jewelry for the privilege to relieve themselves amid the finery. The restroom was not to everyone's taste though. "It's too wasteful, said one visitor. Others who had the opportunity to make a dazzling deposit were more appreciative of the marketing concept behind the convenience. Wang Xifeng, a visitor from mainland China, said she appreciated Lenin's vision and Lam's realization of it. "It's a good selling point," she said with a smile. "It's a dream come true." For a peek at the pot, click here!

The Man Who Made Lenin's Gold Toilet by mousethief
(Tune: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance)

Back in the early Soviet days, when Lenin ran the zoo, the zoo
He wanted every citizen to have a golden loo
But the revolution kinda tied his hands,
And money was getting tight
The man that made Lenin's gold toilet,
He made Lenin's gold toilet
He was a Hong-Kong socialite

He grew up hearing all about the Comrade's gold commode, commode
He knew a golden toilet seat would meet the plumbing code
So he got good and rich from his jewelry shop,
And started to build his dream
The man that made Lenin's gold toilet,
He made Lenin's gold toilet,
To catch his clients' golden stream

Now if you go to Hong Kong town, you'll have to pay the price, the price
It isn't free to take a pee in toilets quite so nice
So you drop a cool thou in the jewelry shop,
And then you can pee in style
The man who built Lenin's gold toilet
He built Lenin's gold toilet
Now wears a gleaming golden smile

Everyone knows it don't come cheap
To make such a "pot" of gold
The man who made Lenin's gold toilet
He made Lenin's gold toilet
Can't keep the seat from feeling cold.