SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

What Happens When A Bird Brain . . .A part-time inventor who went for a woodland stroll to test out his latest contraption - a bird-feeding hat - suffered whiplash after he was knocked over by a hungry squirrel.  Mike Madden, 48, was walking through woods near his house in Huddersfield, northern England, when a large grey squirrel spied the nuts on a feeding tray mounted on top of his headgear.  The squirrel leaped from the top of a tree and landed with such force that Mr Madden was knocked to the ground and suffered whiplash injuries.  He said: "I was out walking through the woods with my friend Craig Bailey.  We had only just started the walk when 'kaboom' - I was on the floor.  I didn't see much of what happened, but Craig told me he saw the squirrel flying through the air and land right on my head."  Mr Madden designed the hat so birds could use it while he was walking because he was concerned about their winter food supplies.  He said: "Someone told me afterwards that with it coming up to winter and food being so short, squirrels can be quite aggressive and opportunistic.  I wish I had known that before.  I've always liked squirrels - but once you've had one land on your head travelling about 30 mph you can easily go off them."  Mr Madden says his bird feeder was destroyed in the assault and he has vowed not to build another.  . . . Meets A Bird Woman?  A woman found living up a tree in Italy told police she had been kicked out of her home by her husband.  The 41-year-old woman was arrested when she started throwing chestnuts at the policemen who spotted her.  Tania Dasilva told officers she had been kicked out of her house in Teramo after a quarrel with her husband.  She said she had "no intention whatsoever to leave the tree."  The woman, who would not say when she was kicked out of the house, started throwing chestnuts at the policeman after they asked her to come down.  She is currently being held at the local police station and has been charged with aggression.  Police say they haven't been able to find her husband yet.


Low Fly, The Squirrels From In The Sky by Sigurd
(To the tune of "Fields Of Athenry", see the DT)

Sigurd's Comments: With deepest apologies to my friends who love this song.

Neath a lonely northern wood, I thought I'd do some good
And feed the pretty birdies on the wing.
With a tray of this and that, I mounted on my hat
I never thought that I would ever sing.

Chorus:
Low fly, the squirrels from in the sky.
That once, I thought were so, god-damned shy
For the seeds upon my head, they nearly knocked me dead
And I curse them, all the tree-rats I can spy.

The day was nice and clear as I took my bright idea
My hat would feed the starlings in the snow
When from far atop the glen, a Tree-rat took a yen
For a piece of my fine corn, way down below.

Chorus

I never saw its pelt but remember how it felt
At thirty miles an hour it hit my head
Like a rock thrown by a gale, this projectile with a tale
It struck me, and I fell as I was dead.

Chorus

(The truly evil verse):
By the old infirmry wall
I heard a young man calling.
Keep your wits about you neath the trees,
I fought Famine with my Crown
And the Squirrels they knocked me down.
I'll never stroll again with dignity.

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