SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   This Challenge! idea comes from our one and only MMario -- which kinda makes me wonder if he's ever actually been in - Port-a-Potty Peril -- Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania, June 15 - Police rescued a man who found himself stuck in the depths of a portable toilet at a recreational field Wednesday afternoon, after he lowered himself inside and couldn't get out. The man, not identified by police, told officers he was trying to retrieve his keys. He was trapped there for at least 45 awful minutes, he told police.   Children playing basketball heard the man calling for help and told their mother. She called township police. Officers arrived about 2:45 p.m. and found the unfortunate man, still shouting and in the toilet's lower chamber up to his hips.  He was naked from the waist down, having taken off his shoes and pants for his unpleasant task.   It took emergency response workers until 3:28 p.m. to extract him, police said, adding that they had to destroy a significant part of the facility in the process. Police could not estimate the cost of the damage.   One he was free, the man was taken to hospital for treatment of cuts and bruises - and to have the wedged-tight toilet seat removed from around his torso.

Love's Final Stand by JenEllen
(Tune:   'Song For All The Good People') 

JenEllen's Comments:  When I read this story in the paper all I could do was laugh and think about the Utah Phillips 'Goodnight/Lovin' lines -- "Well Doc, ya ever seen anything like it?"  "Yeah, but not with a frame around it." 

I left bright and early, to see my gal Shirley
We were in love, and she was my friend
An engagement ring, to her I would bring
Never knowing how my trip would end 

Chorus:
This is a song for all the good people
All the good people, who saved my life
This is a song for all the good people
People I'm thanking my stars for tonight 

Just on a wild lark, I stopped at the state park
Some wild flowers to her I would take
So I walked on my way, gathered my bouquet
And back to the car, with one last stop to make 

I closed the 'pot door, set my bundle on the floor
To make this lightning fast pit-stop
Dropped my pants like a rocket, and turned out my pocket
Then from below came a sickening 'plop' 

Chorus:
Fast forgotten was my pee, as I turned 'round to see
Peering down in the dim morning light
There were may car keys, I gasped in the dank breeze
For glinting beside them was her ring, on the right 

I fished with the flowers for nearly an hour
I tried a tree branch, then tried my hand
I needed something stronger, it had to be longer
I sighed, and prepared for Love's Final Stand 

Chorus

I took my pants down, laid them on the ground
Turned to face "Johnny", and stuck my feet in
It was slicker than it looked, a second was all it took
And there I was in it clean up to my chin 

I yelled for an hour, made daisy-chains with the flowers
Resigned to my fate, I was stuck here quite tight
Then a beautiful sight, a blinding bright light
And a policeman who asked me "Hey Buddy, y'all right?" 

Chorus 

The ensuing extraction nearly put me in traction
Wearing a toilet seat, and smelling like a rose
The driver said "Honey, you're walking kinda funny.."
I smiled and showed her what was clenched in my toes 

They took me downtown, in a hospital gown
Shirley showed up, I proposed, and she grinned
She'd be my wife, and be with me for life
But I'll be damned if I tell her where that ring has been 

Chorus 

So my story has ended, not quite as intended
I still got married, sweet as ya please
But when we walk in the park, or stay out after dark
Shirley always holds on to the keys 

This is a song for all the good people
All the good people who saved my life
This is a song for all the good people
All the good people, and Shirley, my wife 

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