A Little Bitty Squirrel by mousethief


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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

What Happens When A Bird Brain . . .A part-time inventor who went for a woodland stroll to test out his latest contraption - a bird-feeding hat - suffered whiplash after he was knocked over by a hungry squirrel. Mike Madden, 48, was walking through woods near his house in Huddersfield, northern England, when a large grey squirrel spied the nuts on a feeding tray mounted on top of his headgear. The squirrel leaped from the top of a tree and landed with such force that Mr Madden was knocked to the ground and suffered whiplash injuries. He said: "I was out walking through the woods with my friend Craig Bailey. We had only just started the walk when 'kaboom' - I was on the floor. I didn't see much of what happened, but Craig told me he saw the squirrel flying through the air and land right on my head." Mr Madden designed the hat so birds could use it while he was walking because he was concerned about their winter food supplies. He said: "Someone told me afterwards that with it coming up to winter and food being so short, squirrels can be quite aggressive and opportunistic. I wish I had known that before. I've always liked squirrels - but once you've had one land on your head travelling about 30 mph you can easily go off them." Mr Madden says his bird feeder was destroyed in the assault and he has vowed not to build another. . . . Meets A Bird Woman? A woman found living up a tree in Italy told police she had been kicked out of her home by her husband. The 41-year-old woman was arrested when she started throwing chestnuts at the policemen who spotted her. Tania Dasilva told officers she had been kicked out of her house in Teramo after a quarrel with her husband. She said she had "no intention whatsoever to leave the tree." The woman, who would not say when she was kicked out of the house, started throwing chestnuts at the policeman after they asked her to come down. She is currently being held at the local police station and has been charged with aggression. Police say they haven't been able to find her husband yet.

A Little Bitty Squirrel by mousethief
(Tune: Little Bitty Tear (a la Burl Ives))

Made up a hat full of peanuts
Took it outside for a spin
But as soon as I got to the park
I nearly got my brains bashed in

Chorus:
Because a little bitty squirrel knocked me down
Flattened my ass on the ground
Without warning, without a bloody sound,
A little bitty squirrel knocked me down

I pictured birds a-roosting on my noggin
Pleased with the food I displayed
Now I've got whiplash, and one hell of a headache
Please call 911 -- I need some first aid!

Because .... (repeat chorus)

Copyright ©2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.