SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

This Pony In Panties Ain't No Poser! (Ellensburg, WA) -- You can see some pretty strange things in Ellensburg.  Miniature horses are the first thing visitors notice as they pull up to the house of Cherry King and Jenny Calhoun, but the scene quickly gets even more bizarre.  Out across the yard comes "Fat Butt" the miniature goat, as chickens, macaws, dogs, and a host of other pets begin to stir.  The most unique of them all is Rosie, the two-foot tall miniature horse that has been trained to respond to 23 commands to help King, who is blind.  "At a crosswalk, if a car is coming, she'll block me.  There's nothing she can't do."  That's right, a guide horse for the blind--one of only two in the country, the other is in Pennsylvania.  Rosie goes everywhere--to the grocery store, the hospital, everywhere.  And they get strange looks at every turn.  Before going anywhere, Rosie is fitted with a harness, a blanket, and even specially designed horse panties---yes horse panties.  "She's potty-trained," says King "But as a precaution, she wears panties."  It's not just a diaper or shorts; the horse actually wears silky red panties with a thick lining and a hole for her tail.  Watching a 24-inch tall horse strut her stuff in red panties makes all of the other aspects of the story seem a little more run-of-the-mill.  After all, in a world where tiny horses wear panties...?  By the time Rosie climbs into the back of the Toyota Celica and heads into town, she's dolled up in full regalia, so it's no surprise when people slow down and heads turn when they see her climb out of the car in downtown Ellensburg.  The head spinning is no surprise to King.  The place where people are most shocked by Rosie is in restaurants, where the horse often sits under the table during meals, only to emerge when its time to go, startling patrons in nearby booths.  Like a guide dog, Rosie can legally go everywhere, so when Ellensburg residents see a tiny horse walking up and down the aisles of the local supermarket, check for panties.  It's probably just Rosie.


Life From Two Feet Off The Ground by JenEllen
(fer Patient Jack the Sailor--words/tune by me)

I'm just a miniature pony
My course in this life has been set
My brain is the size of a walnut
And it's full of things I can't forget

There's goin' and stoppin' and crosswalks
Stoppin' cars, though I rather would run
Then escalators, cars, and shopping malls?
Well, brother, it ain't too much fun

CHORUS:
Life from two feet off the ground
Oh, life from two feet off the ground
You may think it's funny
But I'm a'tellin' ya sonny
Try life from two feet off the ground

From my little herd I was chosen
And run through a special guide course
But I can't understand why people act so suprised
When I act like a regular horse

The world is a scary ol' mutha
For humans 5'2'' to 6'3''
But try it from my point of reference
An' look at it once from your knees

CHORUS

Now, don't think too ill of my people
They keep me all sassy and fat
I was taught to be helpful and loyal
An' I'll be found doin' just that

So what if some little things spook me?
Cut me a wee bit of slack
I'll keep on being eyes for the blind
An' you keep the hell off my back

CHORUS

Back to Top