SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, But Rita Got Returned To Wal-Mart OMAHA, Nebraska (Reuters) - A Nebraska woman who received an ornate box for Christmas and returned it to Wal-Mart without looking inside discovered later it contained the ashes of her recently deceased sister, a newspaper reported on Friday.  Judy Money received the box as a gift from her brother who lives in Iowa.  But after unwrapping the package on Christmas Eve she saw the box had a broken knob and decided to return it to Wal-Mart without ever looking at the contents inside, the Omaha World-Herald reported.  When Money later confessed to her brother that she had returned his gift, he told her the box contained the ashes of their sister, who had died Dec. 11, the Herald said.  Marvin Tippery, Money's brother, told the Herald he was shocked when he found out she had returned the box.  "No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there," the Herald quoted him as telling Money.  Money told the Herald she made a mad dash back to Wal-Mart, but the box had already been thrown out with the trash.  Money and her brother finally found the box on Thursday amid trash piles at an area landfill.  "My prayers have been answered," she told the Herald.  "Just the thought of having her in the dump was awful."


The Landfill of Omaha by Genie
(Tune:  The Streets of Laredo)

As I looked out over the Omaha landfill,
As I looked it over one cold Boxing Day,
I spied a young couple all covered in garbage
A-rummaging through the debris in dismay.

"I can see by your outfit that you're a bag lady,
I can see by his outfit that he's homeless, too.
Good folk, let me offer a ride to yon shelter--
If you sit through the sermon, they'll give you beef stew."

"Oh, no," cried young Judy, "You're sorely mistaken!
We're both from Nebraska's society class!
We made the mistake once of shopping at Wal-Mart,
And this is our penance for that social gaffe!

Quoth Marvin, "For Judy I bought a small present,
A small box with contents I had not disclosed.
Inside were the ashes of our dear lost sister
Who perished from junk that she put up her nose.

"'For fun in Nebraska she used to go slumming
'High times in the saddle,' as she used to say.
It first led to drinking, and then banjo-playing
And then that arrest---now she lies here today!

"'Twas inside that small box her ashes were resting,
That broken box Judy returned to the mall.
But Wal-Mart won't hold junk (unless they can sell it),
So they tossed sister out with the garbage and all.

"We should've just buried her inside a coffin
With six burly hunks to lay her down to rest--
Just like old days (except she's, like, dead now)!
Instead she got trashed (and we both look a mess)!

"Oh, we've searched the dump slowly, our backs bending lowly--
At last her sarcophagus box we did find!
Now she won't spend eternity with a rat fraternity---
She just needs repackaging and she'll smell fine!"

Said Judy to Marvin, "Though I may be starvin'
You won't catch me dead in a Wal-Mart again!
Now, take me to Nordstrom's and lay some cash on me
For I am in mourning and it eases my pain!"

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