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The Song Challenge:   Let's Have Another Cup of Cat Cra . . . uh, Coffee   – Well, it seems that the coffee market is being undermined by runaway planting in Vietnam and Indonesia, flooding the market with cheap coffee.  Meanwhile, consumption has been relatively flat.  A Starbucks on every corner doesn't mean people are drinking more coffee; thus, the proliferation of gourmet offerings as customers' tastes continuing to get more rarefied.  One coffee retailer in Atlanta sells something called "luwak" coffee, which it claims is picked by the common palm civet (Paradoxurus hermaphrodites), often described as catlike, but probably better thought of as an Asian version of a raccoon, coati or kinkajou.  The palm civet is also known as the 'toddy cat,' for its fondness for the palm juice that is tapped to make a sweet liquor.  On coffee plantations, palm civets dine heavily on coffee cherries.  However, they digest only the outer pulp of fruit, passing the coffee beans unharmed through their digestive systems.  And because palm civets repeatedly deposit their droppings in piles at the same spots, the coffee beans are easily collected, roasted then brewed into kopi luwak--civet coffee.  Kopi luwak is reputedly the best of all coffees because palm civets pluck and eat only the most perfectly ripe cherries!  The price of a pound of kopi luwak coffee?  $300.00.  Whether the beans are affected as they go through the animal's gut is also unknown. For that matter, there is some debate about whether coffee called kopi luwak was ever anywhere near a palm civet.  Asked how he knew the beans were really collected from civet scats, one coffee company representative said, "We operate on trust."  As for the taste, he described the brew as "gamey".   One dealer described the same scene being repeated every time he tells someone about luwak coffee:  "At some point in the story, when you explain how this cat eats only the perfectly ripe coffee cherries, the listener gets this cautious look on his face, and says, "Are you telling me that..." and the dealer always nods and says, "Yes, that's exactly right. Roasted cat-shit for $300 a pound."


Labor Hymn of the Palm Civet by MMario
(to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic)

I'm just a little civet from the south of Viet Nam
I spend my days a labourin' upon this coffee farm
The wages they ain't great - but I get a private palm
And the coffee's brewin' on

It is Cof-fe-a Ro-bus-ta!
Not Cof-fe-a Ara-bic-a!
Only the ripest beans
Shall go through my in-test-eens
And the coffee's brewin' on

Others pick by hand or they use a little rake
I just use my gullet - so there shall be no mistake
Coffee cherries are most tasty - why should they go to waste?
And the coffee's brewin' on!

Chorus:

In Brazil and darkest Aafrica they use a process they call "dry"
In Viet Nam just hear-abouts - they wouldn't even try
For to keep the cherries company I drink fine palm juice wine
And the coffee's brewin' on

Chorus:

When the day is over, and I feel a certain "urge"
Then I scamper to the corner where I give myself a purge
They call THIS coffee "washed"- what a most descriptive word!
And the coffee's brewin' on

Chorus:

So when you're drinking Java (Well I wouldn't want to boast)
But "Blue Mountain" is no longer that for which you pay the most
"Kopi Luwak" coffee are the beans that you should roast!
And the coffee's brewin' on!

Chorus:

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