When The Johnny Is Lined With Gold by Trapper


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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

The Song Challenge: Yes, Virginia, There Really Is A Pot O' Gold! -- (HONG KONG, China) A Hong Kong jeweler has opened his doors to what is possibly the world's most glamorous convenience -- a glittering golden bathroom complete with two 24-carat solid gold toilets. Having learned in school that Lenin had wanted to make gold toilets for the Russian people, Lam Sai-wing says he had long dreamed of creating the ultimate in lavish loos. Now the owner of a successful jewelers, Lam has finally turned his ideal dream into a $4.9 million reality. Replete with gold wash basins, toilet brushes, toilet paper holders, mirrors, chandeliers and even wall tiles and doors made of solid gold, the 45-year old businessman calls his creation "a combination of my thoughts and ideals". Inside the ceiling of the "ancient Roman-style" washroom is encrusted with ruby, sapphire, emerald and amber. However, visitors to Lam's luxury lavatory will find that it is open only to an exclusive few. Potential users will have to spend at least HK$1,000 (U.S.$138) on jewelry for the privilege to relieve themselves amid the finery. The restroom was not to everyone's taste though. "It's too wasteful, said one visitor. Others who had the opportunity to make a dazzling deposit were more appreciative of the marketing concept behind the convenience. Wang Xifeng, a visitor from mainland China, said she appreciated Lenin's vision and Lam's realization of it. "It's a good selling point," she said with a smile. "It's a dream come true." For a peek at the pot, click here!

When The Johnny Is Lined With Gold by Trapper
(Tune: When Johnny Comes Marching Home)

In a jewelry shop in old Hong Kong
Hurrah, hurrah
Lam Sai-Wing he labored long
Hurrah, hurrah
Vlad Lenin's dream he made his own
By making himself a golden "throne"
And we'll all pee gay when
The Johnny is lined with gold

The Johnny is lined in gold my friends,
Hurrah, hurrah
And rubies encrust the loo's dustbin
Hurrah, hurrah
With diamond dust mixed in the tile grout
There's an ivory tusk for the water spout
And we'll all pee gay when
The Johnny is lined with gold

The butt wipe's thousand dollar bills
Hurrah, hurrah,
'Cause flushing cash just gives me thrills
Hurrah, hurrah
The crapper cost 5 million bucks
But porcelain potties really suck
And we'll all pee gay when
The Johnny is lined with gold

If you spend a thousand in his shop
Hurrah, Hurrah
In his gilded head you can then go "plop"
Hurrah, hurrah
Buy a ring or a diamond studded heart
And he'll let you go in and take a... look
And we'll all pee gay when
The Johnny is lined with gold