I Wish I'd Cooked Zucchini Lasagne by Áine


The Mudcat Forum	The Mudcat Resource Pages	The Mudcat Midi Page	The Digital Tradition Folk Song Server
Back to The Mudcat Songbook		Back to The Song Challenge Winners!
Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

The Song Challenge: Chicken Of The Living Dead? -- Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago. According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking. The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the neighbors. But, there were no chickens anywhere. Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming from her own kitchen - coming, in fact, from the oven, where she had put a chicken in to roast half an hour earlier. "It was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave," she says. "It was so bizarre I just froze." As they approached the oven, the squawking reached a crescendo. They took the tray out, and as the chicken began to cool, the squawking died away. Martin chopped the neck off and threw it in the sink. She noticed that the vocal chords were intact. "Steam was coming up the neck from the stuffing," says Martin, and this had caused the dead bird to squawk. She has not cooked chicken since.

I Wish I'd Cooked Zucchini Lasagne by Áine
(Tune: Tiny Sparrow)

Chorus:
I wish I'd cooked a zucchini lasagne,
Or shepherd's pie, with the beef ground fine,
There'd be no screechin' from my kitchen,
And I'd still have that man of mine.

I was so proud of my 'lectric oven,
Our first meal in our brand new home,
A verdant salad, augratin taters,
The mood just like a Khayam poem.

With candles lit, the babies sleepin',
A silk black negligee to sport,
I nestled close to my dear hubby,
We had ten minutes to cavort.

I wish I'd cooked a zucchini lasagne,
Or shepherd's pie, with the beef ground fine,
There'd be no screechin' from my kitchen,
And I'd still have that man of mine.

We hugged and kissed, our lips still searchin'
When from its tomb, that fowl did squawk,
He twitched and ran from my lovin' arms,
Screamin' that he had to take a 'walk',

His stroll has lasted ten long years now,
With therapy, I now say 'What the heck!',
In Gay Paree I went to chef's school,
And now I know how to slice a neck!

I wish I'd cooked a zucchini lasagne,
Or shepherd's pie, with the beef ground fine,
There'd be no screechin' from my kitchen,
And I'd still have that man of mine.