SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Well, this should be a "cleansing" experience after the last two Challenge!s.  The Topless Mermaid:  'Most people just look and cheer' -- OSLO, Norway - A bare-breasted blonde mermaid perched atop a rock is making tourists gape in disbelief along a Norwegian fjord.  "One man once jumped off a boat and swam over to me," Line Oexnevad, 37 and mother of two children, said on Tuesday of her unorthodox job as a professional siren. "Most people just look and cheer."  Oexnevad, naked except for a long blonde wig and a costume fish-tail, said she has sat five times on a rock along the Lyse fjord in West Norway in the past three summers, hired as a surprise attraction for tourist boat trips and parties.  "The last time it was a bit cold," she said. "The mermaid in Copenhagen and me are the only mermaids I know of," she said. The "Little Mermaid" in Copenhagen is a statue inspired by a Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale.  Oexnevad, who also works at a hospital in nearby Stavanger, said she was no good at singing -- in legend, sirens sang to lure sailors. "Maybe next time I'll take along a cassette player," she said.

Itsy Bitsy Scaley Greeny Fishy Tail, But No Bikini by Áine
(Tune: Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini)

Áine's Comments:  Perhaps it's appropriate for this one to be the last entry (hehehehe) . . . For those of you too young to remember the song Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, just sing this with your favorite cha-cha tune. Note: "ditties" is the family euphemism for those lovely female glandular protuberances found on mermaids perched on rocks in fjords. 

Chorus:
She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.

From the kitchen to the car now
From the car to windy shore
From windy shore onto the boulders
There she sat from nine to four

In a wink her fingers wrinkled
In a blink her hair was soaked
Upon her perch the mermaid pondered
This job just had to be a joke!

She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.

As her perky ditties pointed
To the tourists on the boats
She could hear their raucous cries now
Reminding her of horny goats

This mermaid figured up her paycheck
While she smiled and waved and splashed
Wondering whether it would bounce, and
How quickly she could get it cashed

She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.

It was her second day on duty
She figured she could make the week
When suddenly one toady tourist
Had to have a closer peek

Our maiden sang so sweet and mild as
Her soggy suitor paddled forth
With a flourish at the chorus
Her tail sent him beneath the fjord

As her strong limb held him under
She sang to him in tones so round
"It was just that kind of business,"
"That drove Great Grandma to dry ground!"

She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.

(spoken) One - Two - Three - Four,
Is that a dead seal in the fjord?

She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.

Cha-cha-cha!

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