SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  Is That A Baby Budgie In Your Pants, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me? -- RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) -- With parrots and snakes in his luggage and bird eggs tucked into his underwear, an Austrian tourist has been arrested and charged for animal trafficking, Brazilian police said on Wednesday.   "He put (the eggs) near his testicles so they would be at nest temperature," a police spokesman said.  Police discovered 21 parrots, four parakeets and two snakes hidden in two large suitcases carried by Austrian botanist Johann Zillinger.  hey also found Zillinger had rolled five parakeet eggs into a sock and nestled them in his underwear.  "Since some of the parakeets that he had with him were newborns, we assume that some of the eggs had already hatched."  Tipped off by an anonymous call, Rio de Janeiro police arrested the Austrian on Monday in front of his Copacabana beach hotel, as he climbed into a taxi on his way to catch a flight to Europe.  According to police, Zillinger bought the animals in the Amazon port city of Belen and planned to take them to Austria to sell them in Europe.


Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny Baby Bird In His Bikinis by Sonja
(Tune: Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini)

He was afraid to come out of the taxi,
He was afraid that the bulges would show.
He was afraid to come out of the taxi,
He was afraid everybody would know.

(One, two, three, four,
What the federales saw)

Was an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny baby bird in his bikinis
Movin' in a provocative way,
An itsy bitsy, teeny weeny baby bird in his bikinis,
Gave old Johann the smuggler away.

He was afraid to submit to the strip search;
He turned bright red, the customs lady could see.
He was afraid to submit to the strip search,
Because those budgie chicks had soiled his BVD's!

(Three, four, five, six,
What a nest for hatching chicks!)

It was an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny baby bird in his bikinis--
That's why Johann was walkin' that way.
An itsy bitsy, teeny weeny budgie in his Hanes bikinis--
Birds in your crotch can just ruin your whole day!

He was afraid that the agents would ferret
Out all the snakes and birds that he had stowed away.
He might have fooled 'em, were it not for that parrot
That started squealin' and gave him away!

(Five, six, seven, eight,
What did that stool pigeon say?)

"He's got some itsy bitsy, teeny weeny budgie eggs in his bikinis!"
That's what that big mouth Macaw bird did say,
"Itsy bitsy, teeny weeny budgie eggs there by his weenie!
And don't forget the boas in his attaché!"

He was afraid he'd no more see Vienna,
And so he tried to say "They're just beloved pets!"
But twenty-one parakeets wrapped in bandanas
Told the customs cops his tale was all wet!

And then that itsy bitsy, teeny weeny baby bird in his bikinis
Popped right on out, much to Johann's dismay!
An itsy bitsy, teeny weeny budgie in his Hanes bikinis--
Now they're taking our hero away.

(Four, three, two, one,
Tell the man what he has won!)

It is an eeny weeny, itty bitty cell in a Brazilian city,
That's the wages of Zillerman's foul crime!
An eeny weeny, itty bitty cell in a Brazilian city,
Where Johann's now doing his seven to nine!

Copyright © Sonja W. Oates, 2001

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