It Ain't Me, Bird by Nadja Chick


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How Big Is That Emu In My Window? -- (HAMBURG, Germany) - An escaped emu caused confusion in Hamburg after a woman called police to report what she thought was a bare-chested man with two big white dots on his forehead staring into her window, police said on Friday. The large, flightless, Australian bird resembling an ostrich has been on the run from a local zoo since Thursday. "The woman heard someone tapping at the window at night and when she looked out she saw a head with two big eyes and a bare chest," a Hamburg police spokesman said. Officers said they knew there was an emu on the run and put two and two together after they found no one suspicious. "We're still looking for either a naked man with huge eyes or an emu," the spokesman added. The bird has escaped twice in two weeks. Last week it ran away and frightened a horse, but was eventually captured.

It Ain't Me, Bird by Nadja Chick
(Tune: It Ain't Me Babe; Bob Dylan)

Go 'way from my window,
Leave on those long gangly legs.
I'm not the chick you want, bird,
Not the one to hatch your eggs.
I'm sure you're looking for a mate
Never weak but tall and strong.
You'd protect her and defend her
With your beak and legs so long,
Someone to sit upon your nest -- and more,

But It Ain't Me, Bird!
No, no, no, It Ain't Me, Bird!
It ain't me you're looking for, Bird!

Go fly now from the ledge, Bird,
...Er,...run across the ground.
I'm really not your type, Bird,
Ain't got no feather-down.
At first I thought you were a man
With a big, bare, hairy chest
And dark brown eagle eyes that seemed
To pierce me to my breast,
But then I saw those knees, and I cried "Fowl!"

It Ain't Me, Bird!
No, no, no, It Ain't Me, Bird!
It ain't me you're looking for, Bird!

Go climb back into your cage, Bird,
Stop staring like you were stoned!
I'm gonna call the "fuzz," bird
If you won't leave me alone!
You may be looking for a home,
To be somebody's special pet,
But you'd tromp my flowers constantly
And eat me into debt!
Another ugly brute to feed? No more!

It Ain't Me, Bird!
No, no, no, It Ain't Me, Bird!
It ain't me you're looking for, Bird!