I Sent My Sister to A Landfill by Amos


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Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, But Rita Got Returned To Wal-Mart OMAHA, Nebraska (Reuters) - A Nebraska woman who received an ornate box for Christmas and returned it to Wal-Mart without looking inside discovered later it contained the ashes of her recently deceased sister, a newspaper reported on Friday. Judy Money received the box as a gift from her brother who lives in Iowa. But after unwrapping the package on Christmas Eve she saw the box had a broken knob and decided to return it to Wal-Mart without ever looking at the contents inside, the Omaha World-Herald reported. When Money later confessed to her brother that she had returned his gift, he told her the box contained the ashes of their sister, who had died Dec. 11, the Herald said. Marvin Tippery, Money's brother, told the Herald he was shocked when he found out she had returned the box. "No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there," the Herald quoted him as telling Money. Money told the Herald she made a mad dash back to Wal-Mart, but the box had already been thrown out with the trash. Money and her brother finally found the box on Thursday amid trash piles at an area landfill. "My prayers have been answered," she told the Herald. "Just the thought of having her in the dump was awful."

I Sent My Sister to A Landfill by Amos
(Tune: "I Didn't Know God Made Honkie-Tonk Angels" (Click to Play))

I never look at Xmas gifts too closely
I get so many of them, don't you know?
And if something in my stocking doesn't please me,
Right back to Sachs or Walmart it will go

Chorus:

Now I know my sister never would forgive me
'Cuz I chose the path of leisure and of wealth,
She cursed my for a compromising bourgeois
And went off to join with Sun Yung Moon, herself

Chorus

That was many years ago, when we were twenty,
And I went ahead and married Bubba Sam;
He's made millions building new homes for the Yuppies;
Sis just spits but that's the kind of girl I am!

Chorus

Now I love my triple-king size bed for sleeping.
And my deep pile woolen carpets on the floor.
I have fifteen kinds of jets in my Jacuzzi,
And everybody knows that I ain't poor.

Chorus

Little Sister though, she never made a penny,
And her marriage to the Moonies didn't work.
And she moved back in to Momma's house in Shallcross
On the whole she's really been a little jerk.

Chorus

When I sent that tacky pine thing back to Walmart,
You'll forgive me if I did not look within!
How was I to know you'd put her ashes in it?
Cuz it's not like having standards is a sin!

Chorus: