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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
E-E-E-E-EEK! The Elves Are Armed And Claus Is Wearing Kevlar! -- Santas will be feeling oh-so-secure from rowdy children at shopping malls this year, now that the Freeport Leisure company is employing personal bodyguards for their costumed St. Nicks at their six factory outlet sites. The company is also telling their red-clad employees to wear extra padding. A company spokesman told the Evening Gazette: "Last year Santa received a number of tugs and pulls from over-exuberant children, which led to him getting a bit roughed up." "And there was an incident at one of the centres last year where there was a bit more to it than that. So this year we have decided to give Santa a bit of extra protection." Tindi Sorber, group marketing manager for Freeport Leisure, said children would still be encouraged to tug Santa's beard as part of the Christmas tradition. "We don't mind a tug - in fact we encourage it. It's all part of the Christmas tradition. However, last year Santa reported the odd bruise, so we've heeded his call and left nothing to chance," he said.
I Saw Tommy Kicking Santa Claus by Genie
(Tune: [3 guesses])
I saw Tommy kicking Santa Claus
At the Freeport Leisure Store last night
I saw the little creep pull his hair and punch him deep––
I thought that he was f**ked up and he made poor Santa weep!
Then I saw Tommy stick old Santa Claus,
Underneath his beard with a switchblade knife!
Now they're bringing bouncers in
To save the old fat guy's skin!
No more kicking Santa Claus tonight!