Irish Stew by Deda


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What A Fella Will Do For A Good Irish Stew! . . . A house burglar in South London ignored a video recorder, mobile phones and other valuables – but stole a pan of Irish stew. Clare Wilson, from Mitcham, made the dish for the next day's dinner, then left it on her oven and went to bed. The next morning it had vanished, but nothing else had been taken. Ms. Wilson, a mum of four, told The Sun: "I know my cooking is good but this is ridiculous. It's unbelievable someone would just take a stew when all that stuff was lying about the place. I'm considering putting out reward posters asking people if they've seen my stew pot. I've been making stew for over 20 years in that pot, and I'm a bit annoyed. I've got several others, but it was my favourite. It's just the right size for all the family. The thief must have tasted the food first because I found dollops of it around the top of the stove." Ms. Wilson's sons, Brian, 20, and Scott, 19, swear they did not eat the stew after getting in from the pub – they had a kebab on the way home. The back door had been forced open, so Ms. Wilson reported the crime to Mitcham police. She said: "The thief should have just knocked on the door. I'd have invited them along for dinner. There would have been enough for everyone."

Irish Stew by Deda
(Tune: "Close To You," as sung by the Carpenters)

Why do thieves suddenly appear
At this time of the year?
For a treat, they long to eat
Irish Stew.

(*Tune to every alternate verse = On the day when you were born...)
Forget about the credit cards
The secret safe, the VCR
The SUVs and all the jewellry too
They don't want to know about the dough
Just want to get that pot of Irish Stew!

Good thick stock bubbling in a crock
What a shock! Break the lock!
They'd all fight, just for a bite
of Irish stew.

Some spuds, a little broccolli
Last night's unfinished G and T
Have all been tossed in to the steaming brew
And she threw some lamb meat in there too
And simmered for at least a week or two!

Add green peas, carrotts if you please,
Some fresh beans, celery,
Basile, too, all went into
Irish Stew!

The moment that the theft was made
The flavors came together
And decided to become a dream come true
So they blended mushrooms in the mix
And heaven's secret spices in there too.

That is why every thief in town
Is just hanging around
There's no haste, they just want a taste
Of Irish Stew.

(Ah, aahh aahh) Irish Stew
(Ah, aahh aahh) Irish Stew