I'll Tell Me Mah by Clifton53


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The Song Challenge: Polly Want a Divorce? SHANGHAI (Reuters) - A Chinese housewife is seeking divorce claiming the family's talking bird dropped clues on her husband's illicit affair, state media said on Tuesday. The woman from southwestern Chongqing city said she uncovered the affair when their mynah began saying things like "Divorce," "I love you" and "Be patient" after it overheard the husband's telephone calls with his mistress, the Xinmin Evening News said. The woman said she noticed the feathered tattle-tale's strange new vocabulary after she returned from a month-long visit with her parents that started in May. Already suspecting her husband was having an affair, she observed that the bird became particularly talkative whenever the telephone rang, confirming her suspicions, the report said. Last week she brought the bird to a law office for consultation, hoping it could testify in court. "Can my mynah be used as witness?" the newspaper quoted her as asking. Lawyers were not optimistic. "The judges are unlikely to rule against your husband based only on the mynah's words," attorney Wu Di was quoted as telling her.

I'll Tell Me Mah by Clifton53

I'll tell me mah when she comes home
Her man won't leave that girl alone
She pressures him to play and roam
Ring ring ring goes the gawdamn phone
Secret lover yes indeed
The dirty old dog will spread his seed
I'm but a mynah but I'm real smart
I won't let him break her heart

Sittin' up here upon my perch
Just like a priest inside the church
I hear every word that's said
Jot them down inside my head
I'll nail his carcass to the wall
If the judge will let me cawl
My story it is short and sweet
We'll throw that bum out on the street
She is handsome she is pretty
She is the belle of Chongqing City
She'll be happy yesiree
I'm gonna make her a divorcee

Let his lawyer cry and blow
I'm gonna get my Mah that dough
Toss him out right on his ear
Oh just wait until they hear
"Divorce", "be patient", "bide your time",
He tells that floozy all the time
Just like that and she'll be free
Teach the bum 'bout loyalty
She is handsome she is pretty
She is the belle of Chongqing City
She'll be happy yesiree
I'm gonna make her a divorcee