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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge: Dull Men of the World Unite -- LONDON (Reuters) - Now there's a Web site for the man who has everything except a life. Promising to free its readers from the pressures of trying to be "in and trendy," www.dullmen.com reviews dull books, tells dull jokes and lists dull events for every month of the year.
"In March, we like to watch maple trees during sugaring time. Sap dripping just right to watch -- the right pace, the right suspense," suggests the site run by the U.S.-based National Council of Dull Men.
Laid out in shades of grey, black and white, it also offers a test with questions like "Do you like to watch airport luggage carousels?" and "Do you like English food?" to help readers find their true selves.
If You Like Cheese And Baloney by Lonesome EJ
(Tune: If You like Piņa Coladas)
I was tired of my Lady
'Cause she was wearing me down
Golf and tennis on the weekend
Every night on the town
Ethiopian Restaurants,
Tuesday nights the Ballet
Banjo lessons on Wednesday
Thursday sculpting in clay
So I called the Newspaper
Put in a personal ad
Ran it Monday through Sunday
This is the way that it read:
Chorus:
If you like Cheese and Baloney
And drive a Dodge Caravan
Dig Manilow and Montovani
Your favorite channel's C-Span
If you spend hours picking carpet out
And watch Green Acres Marathons
We really must get together
So we can make each other yawn.
I got a letter next morning
From a lady named Jane
She said I sounded like a winner
She said her boyfriend's a pain.
I said I'll meet you at Denny's
We'll share vanilla ice cream
Then rent a Jerry Lewis Movie
She said "I think he's a scream!"
When I walked into Denny's
I was shocked by the truth-
There sat my own lovely Lady
Doing crosswords in the booth!
(She said)
Chorus:
If you like Cheese and Baloney
And cutting Z's on the couch
You like watching Hogan's Heroes
And walking 'round in a slouch
If you are into Reej and Kathie Lee
And digging weeds from the lawn
I'll go home with you right now
And we can make each other yawn.