SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

This Pony In Panties Ain't No Poser! (Ellensburg, WA) -- You can see some pretty strange things in Ellensburg.  Miniature horses are the first thing visitors notice as they pull up to the house of Cherry King and Jenny Calhoun, but the scene quickly gets even more bizarre.  Out across the yard comes "Fat Butt" the miniature goat, as chickens, macaws, dogs, and a host of other pets begin to stir.  The most unique of them all is Rosie, the two-foot tall miniature horse that has been trained to respond to 23 commands to help King, who is blind.  "At a crosswalk, if a car is coming, she'll block me.  There's nothing she can't do."  That's right, a guide horse for the blind--one of only two in the country, the other is in Pennsylvania.  Rosie goes everywhere--to the grocery store, the hospital, everywhere.  And they get strange looks at every turn.  Before going anywhere, Rosie is fitted with a harness, a blanket, and even specially designed horse panties---yes horse panties.  "She's potty-trained," says King "But as a precaution, she wears panties."  It's not just a diaper or shorts; the horse actually wears silky red panties with a thick lining and a hole for her tail.  Watching a 24-inch tall horse strut her stuff in red panties makes all of the other aspects of the story seem a little more run-of-the-mill.  After all, in a world where tiny horses wear panties...?  By the time Rosie climbs into the back of the Toyota Celica and heads into town, she's dolled up in full regalia, so it's no surprise when people slow down and heads turn when they see her climb out of the car in downtown Ellensburg.  The head spinning is no surprise to King.  The place where people are most shocked by Rosie is in restaurants, where the horse often sits under the table during meals, only to emerge when its time to go, startling patrons in nearby booths.  Like a guide dog, Rosie can legally go everywhere, so when Ellensburg residents see a tiny horse walking up and down the aisles of the local supermarket, check for panties.  It's probably just Rosie.


If I Were A Goat by Deda
(Thanks to WYSIWYG for the Lyle Lovett idea: If I Were a Goat – Apologies to Lyle Lovett, re If I Had A Boat)

If I were a goat
I'd make friends with a chicken
And if I were a chicken
I'd ride upon a goat
And goat and chick together
We'd go and find a pony
A pony and a chicken and a goat

If I were a Macaw
I'd call my goat friend Fat Butt
And we'd have lots of dogs and people, too
And we all with our pony --
(We'd call our pony Rosie)
-- We'd be happy as the monkeys in the zzoo

And Rosie, she'd wear panties
With a tail-sized hole behind her
With silk and lace and lining
She'd prance around and dance
And we'd all sing together
Like the Bremen town musicians
Pony, dogs and chickens and a goat

Now Cherry King was mighty smart
She got herself a pony
'Cause Rosie was a pony who could guide
But Rosie she was smarter
Cause guiding's pretty easy
And into town in the Toyota she would ride

If I were a goat
I'd make friends with a chicken
And if I were a chicken
I'd ride upon a goat
And goat and chick together
We'd go and dance with Rosie
A pony and a chicken and a goat

Back to Top