| The Digital Tradition Folk Song Server | |||
|
|||
SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge: The Man Who Wanted To Be King . . .
Of The Jungle, That Is -- (August 2001) SAN DIEGO, CA. -- A San Diego computer programmer who has spent �100,000 on tattoos and plastic surgery to turn
himself into a 'tiger' wants a fur graft. (
Click here for his picture) Dennis Smith is tattooed from head to toe with orange
and black stripes and his teeth have been filed to needle point. His fingernails have
been crafted into sharp talons while his hands have tattooed markings like a tiger's paws.
He says he feels like a tiger. The short back-and-sides he sported at the University of
California has been replaced with a long orange mane. He has also swapped his glasses
for green contact lenses. He has also had latex whiskers implanted and surgery to his
lips so he has a permanent snarl. He now wants a surgeon to graft tiger fur on to his
skin, like a perma-wig. Mr. Smith, who has changed his name by deed poll to Cat Man,
said: "I have a collection of old tiger pelts from the days of hunting. I want these
grafted on to me. It will cost another $100,000 but will be worth it.
When I have the coat of a tiger, I feel I will have reached my goal in life." 'Cat Man'
admits "Of course people stare at me when I walk down the street, but that's the effect I desire.
For so long I have equated myself with the tiger that I decided to change myself
into one." "It's the real me. So many men cross-dress without their
partners knowing, or dress up and play cowboys or Civil War soldiers at weekends.
Me, I'm a tiger all the time and I love it. I had my first tattoos done 20 years ago
around my eyes and now my whole body is one pastiche of stripes and shading. I am
really proud of it all.".
If I Was A Tiger by McGrath of Harlow
McGrath's Comments: Makes me think of the Christopher Robin of When We
Were Very Young. So here's my slant on the fearsome Catman.
(Here's a picture of another
highly appropriate Christopher Robin that my search engine came up with. A domestic tiger.
If I was a tiger I bet I would be
The scariest tiger you ever did see.
I'd have stripes on my face
And all over the place.
Yes, I'd show what I thought
Of the whole human race.
I'd have claws that would scratch 'em
And I'd chase them and catch 'em
And each day after dark
I would prowl in the park
And if anyone came near
I'd grab them and snatch 'em.
With a great stripey tail and a fierce tiger song
I would roam through the jungle, that's where I belong.
I'd not go to school
I would break every rule.
And if anyone laughed -
Well they wouldn't for long.
I'd have whiskers so fierce
They would terrify nurse.
"No, I'll not go to bed,
I will stay up instead."
And she'd say that I could,
So I wouldn't get worse.
If I was a tiger...
If I was tiger...
Well I'm not quite a tiger -
But I will be some day.