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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
E-E-E-E-EEK! The Elves Are Armed And Claus Is Wearing Kevlar! -- Santas will be feeling oh-so-secure from rowdy children at shopping malls this year, now that the Freeport Leisure company is employing personal bodyguards for their costumed St. Nicks at their six factory outlet sites. The company is also telling their red-clad employees to wear extra padding. A company spokesman told the Evening Gazette: "Last year Santa received a number of tugs and pulls from over-exuberant children, which led to him getting a bit roughed up." "And there was an incident at one of the centres last year where there was a bit more to it than that. So this year we have decided to give Santa a bit of extra protection." Tindi Sorber, group marketing manager for Freeport Leisure, said children would still be encouraged to tug Santa's beard as part of the Christmas tradition. "We don't mind a tug - in fact we encourage it. It's all part of the Christmas tradition. However, last year Santa reported the odd bruise, so we've heeded his call and left nothing to chance," he said.
They Always Hurt The Claus They Love by Sonja
(Words: Sonja W. Oates –– Tune: You Always Hurt The One You Love)
Sonja's Comments: Once again, Áine, I ain't got time to do this here thaing up right, but here's the 5-minute special.
They always hurt the Claus they love
The one they shouldn't hurt at all.
They always pull his beard and nose
And kick 'im in the gut and balls.
I fear they'll break his private parts--
With each season, he must be recalled!
So lest the bloke may die of fright,
Mr. Claus, we're here to take the fall!